Undergraduate Monica Baey’s plight

Ms Monica Baey

Dear National University of Singapore

3 days ago, I came across Monica Baey’s plight. As a student of your institution, she was not given the justice she deserved. What she had to do instead, was publicly announce and relive her traumatic experience in the hopes that the scales of justice would balance again.

What you obviously don’t understand is that in the last 3 days, hundreds and thousands of women like myself in Singapore, who have been victims of sexual abuse ourselves, are watching in silent horror how this case is unfolding in your hands.

Nicholas Lim was suspended for one semester, banned from entering one hall out of seven, and told to write an apology letter.

This is the “punishment” you gave for someone who has potentially destroyed a woman’s life?

Clearly, despite being regarded as a national institution of Singapore, who have produced the leaders of our country – you have ZERO understanding about how sexual voyeurism affects a woman.

Your current stand on “two strikes THEN you’re out” appalls me. I have cousins and friends in your school. These are the sisters and daughters in my family.

Thanks to your position on this matter, I have now read comments online written by men, about how they wished they were students of NUS. Because they all get a free pass to commit such an act at least once in their lifetime without any real consequences.

All they have to do is to follow Nicholas Lim’s footsteps :
1. Make sure they do it now when they are young because THEIR future will be more important
2. Do whatever the hell they want to their target victim and satisfy their sexual need
3. Show how “remorseful” they are after they are caught
4. Make sure they don’t circulate the videos/pictures and just keep it solely for their viewing pleasure

(BTW, Thank you Singapore Police Force for that outrageous clarification)

What is wrong with you NUS? What exactly has gone into your heads that you actually don’t get the extent of what you are actually doing by handling it in this manner? How the hell are the women of your institution EVER going to feel safe again if this is how you are moving forward?!

Ms Diana Ngiam, an associate director of Quahe Woo and Palmer LLC, said that people in Nicholas’s shoes are usually charged. And I quote “However, it could be a combination of factors that worked in this man’s favour, although we do not know what these factors are.”

You certainly are making us wonder NUS.

Because being “remorseful”, not circulating her video and showing signs of high LIKELIHOOD of rehabilitation as your reasons for excusing him is a JOKE.

I spoke to a couple of my friends, and we have 2 theories of why you are taking Nicholas’s case so lightly.

1. Chinese privilege.

- Yes I went there. But don’t shoot the messenger because of your incompetence. Lets face it. If Nicholas was an Indian or a Malay boy, I doubt he would be let off this easily.
- One month suspension in which time he can get a job? Go for counselling sessions in the day and party at night? What a life.

2. Powerful people.

- So the police cleared this up by informing us of his parents occupations. So what? Perhaps there are other family influences which we don’t know of. Like money and powerful positions in powerful places.

See what you have done? Utter distrust. Not just against you but the entire system. You still don’t get it do you? This case is not just about Monica anymore, its about all of us.

Whether you like it or not, your position in this matter as a national institution sets precedence for other national institutions, organisations and schools. And if you have committed the grave injustice and error of letting Nicholas go, without any real justice for Monica – ask yourself what you are telling other people – the victims , potential perpetrators and the people of this country.

It is sickening that we victims are doing the work of having to speak up for justice for ourselves. We get screwed over by these assholes, and screwed over again by the system that supports them.

If the police can’t do anything, you can.
Expel him. Reform your framework.
MAKE OUR GIRLS SAFE.

We don’t want another statement NUS.
We want you to ACT.

 

Noor Mastura

 

 

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27 Responses to “Undergraduate Monica Baey’s plight”

  • N.Jungne:

    They were undecided, dunno what to do, anyhow hantam. Nobody is responsible, any suggestions?

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  • RDB:

    Cronyism, etc alike are the hallmarks of the country’s governance since 1959. Problem is some 70% voters keep saying okay to it lah!

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  • To serve us noble:

    This time-bomb case finally ‘exploded’ in the face of these fat cat ministar and univ administrators due to their incompetence, gross negligence and lack of positive actions.

    It also further reinforces the perception their reactive style of governance and management, not proactive and foresightedness. When there are public outcry and and outrage, then they quixkly convene review committee and rush to introduce half hearted measures.

    Uncle really hopes things change for the better when our upcoming PM comes on board.

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  • MarBowling:

    Wow, FINALLY in our midst, we have a Joan of Arc in the form of Noor Mastura who dares to TELL NUS and SPF off by putting them in proper place! Ms Noor, you have made my DAY!

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  • “This is the “punishment” you gave for someone who has potentially destroyed a woman’s life?”

    Wow! Kenna seen taking shower can destroy a woman’s life? The author is speaking as if Monica is so vulnerable a victim and that she would end her life just because she was “seen”.

    IMHO, with the fiasco that this supposedly weak victim has started, the chances of Nicholas committing suicide is much much higher than victim Monica.

    Nicholas’s entire family, including his friends have been dragged through the mud, has Monica’s?

    There is a reason why laws exist and why there is a difference between the punishment for sexual offences like peeping, molest and rape, voyeur being the lesser of the evils.

    The law has been applied and Nicholas has been punished, whether we like it or not, we have to accept that and let it be.

    None of us (including the victim) has any right to go doxing and thrashing the offender and his family like what we are doing now. All this hounding of Nicholas has to stop so he and his family can move on.

    If we are still not happy with the punishment, then blame the policies and the laws and ask for changes through the MPs and let Parliament change the law so peeping is punishable by death.

    .

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  • JustSaying:

    The letter, only by a woman, is a classic representation of a foxy and subtle perversion of justice through manipulative exaggeration of a woman’s exalted agenda and vainglory in and of her sexuality.

    The severity of the case, which has been duly investigated, has been clearly blown out of proportion because of a woman’s personal wrath, venom and spite. First and foremost, victim’s life has not been destroyed(though her own twisted mind has been screwed by ownself) when clearly these women in their deluded self interests state are out to destroy a young man’s life for attempting to MOVE ON after a foolish act amounting to not more then and below criminal charges.

    We will never change the NATURE of man and bitching women. The way forward, in this wretched system, is to tightened security(why wasn’t it done PROPERLY by these institutions is really baffling ).

    To “kill”(to that extent and in the spirit of spite) a male over the exalted chastity of a female’s sexuality is not only absurb but perverse in itself.

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  • Terminate Chi imediately:

    Hi lily u want to save Chi face .. or u trying to hide the grant money … which ? 80,000 is taxpayer money . If Chi had lied or misused taxpayer money .. he should be terminated effectively ..

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  • Bapak:

    Those heads in NUS pobably short-circuited long ago. Maybe looking 8at their CPF Statements everyday forget 2 strike you are out is not going to work. They are not fit to be educationists, sack them all.

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  • Women Are Special People:

    The reasons are as follows:

    1) It is okay for a woman to kiao kah at home and live off her husband. It’s perfectly respectable. NO! NO! NO! Men cannot live off women. Chi Ruan fan (eat soft rice).

    2) Men must always pay women. Husbands give allowances to wives. Male clients give money to KTV hostess and other women who provide services.

    3) Men must always be gallant towards women. Men must let them sit, walk first etc.

    4) Women are terminally insecure. They see nothing wrong buying and wearing men’s clothes like it’s meant for them. But will have a bitchfest when men use women’s accessories and clothing. PERVERT! Oh yah women aren’t perverts if they wear men’s clothing.

    5) Men must always be doing something for women. Women have this “what have you done for me lately?” attitude. Be careful when you go NTUC @ Toa Payoh MRT. The women will ask you to get items for them.

    6) Women expect men to know what they want without having to say what they want.

    7) If a woman has yo bring up her children single handedly, she becomes an icon, goddess, diva superior, glorified in the pages of male bashing women’s magazines. A man is expected to provide for the whole family. No arguments!

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  • Protecting foreign students:

    The leniency in punishing NUS student is most likely due to a large number of foreign students studying there on full scholarship using taxpayer’s money. Expelling them means wasting the money spent on them and the place given to them instead of to a Singaporean.

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  • Spare rod and spoil child:

    I have 3 points to make on this issue:

    1. For those who spoke in defense of Nicholas, you will not be so forgiving if he had committed this offence against your mother, wife or sister!

    2. NUS’s “2 strikes and you are out” policy is disgrace. So any student at NUS can have a shot knowing the consequences cannot be too painful. With some luck, the person can have one shot, maybe two, perhaps three even four and if not caught the person gets away with the crime.

    3. BUS has admitted their mistake and publicly apologised to Monica. Wow, how forthright! Wait a minute – if not for social media, would this have gone public? Would NUS have apologised? Most likely not and Monica would have been advised not to make a fuss because nobody is going to know about it and mainstream media will write a short story tucked in between articles no one reads.So thanks to social media there is forced transparency!

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  • HarderTruths:

    This case is the spark that set alight the petrol of years of pent-up deapair against the pappies.

    In an election year too. How exciting.

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  • sg is doomed:

    Lots of pent-up bottled-up sexual tension in younger sinkie men nowadays.
    Something is wrong.

    Spike in convicted cases outrage of female modesty highlighted in the media. Peeping toms with hidden camera in ladies changing room. Upskirt videoing of women.

    Many of the convicted person are young men, clean-shaven type, neatly dressed, decent and presentable. Quite a few them are male teachers. The latest is this chap who took video of the girl bathing in her uni hostel bathroom.

    Check out the number of threads started in HardwareZone. Intruding into women’s privacy with attached slyly, covertly taken photos of women in MRTt trains or in the streets and then asking readers “Keyi Mah?”. What is happening? So much bottled up sexaul tension that these young men resort to fantasising, posting and sharing woman’s photos online.

    Whats the cause and cure to all these ah? Keong Siak Kai is no more. The street is now all atas angmo-style-eatery. Thanks to whose idea to kick out the licensed-brothels? Young men cannot go Keong Siak Kai to clear their choked-water-pipes anymore.

    What can they do to release sexual tension? Video girls bathing as in the latest case. This is so sia suay! Sg is doomed.

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  • in the suburbs:

    sg is doomed:

    Check out the number of threads started in HardwareZone. Intruding into women’s privacy with attached slyly, covertly taken photos of women in MRTt trains or in the streets and then asking readers “Keyi Mah?”. What is happening? So much bottled up sexaul tension that these young men resort to fantasising, posting and sharing woman’s photos online.

    Whats the cause and cure to all these ah? Keong Siak Kai is no more. The street is now all atas angmo-style-eatery. Thanks to whose idea to kick out the licensed-brothels? Young men cannot go Keong Siak Kai to clear their choked-water-pipes anymore.

    What can they do to release sexual tension? Video girls bathing as in the latest case. This is so sia suay! Sg is doomed.

    even australia also have licensed brothels in their suburbs. why sinkieland like that now…

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  • Noor Racist?:

    Noor Mastura I disagree with you on your point on Chinese privilege. Rcall the teenager who was escorted by a team of police officers for a sexual offence? He committed suicide. OH, he was CHINESE.

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  • We are all equal:

    Noor Racist?:
    Noor Mastura I disagree with you on your point on Chinese privilege. Rcall the teenager who was escorted by a team of police officers for a sexual offence? He committed suicide. OH, he was CHINESE.

    Yes agree. I think she shouldn’t have brought up race issue as it makes her appear racist

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  • @Spare rod and spoil child:

    At the very least, I would not take law into my own hands and go around indirectly inciting / encouraging hatred and invite netizens to hound the offender. I would refer the matter to the authorities and let the law takes its natural course.

    Regardless of the punishment, I would concentrate on providing more care and support for the victim rather than plotting the downfall of the offender.

    That’s what I would do even if the victim is related to me.

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  • Zhenzidan:

    @TRE Tech

    That shows you have no backbone and integrity and no balls, that’s why. Refer the matter to the authorities? It’s precisely because the authorities did a fucked up job, that’s why she took her own action through the social media, and you now accuse her of “inciting hatred”. Did she urge all netizens to hound at the offender? I don’t remember reading any of her statements asking netizens to do so. She merely related her stories and other righteous netizens decided to CSI the offender’s identity to warn other girls. I’m so proud of these netizens!

    You want to provide care and support for the victim? I think the victim does not need any support from someone who has no backbone!

    @Zhenzidan

    This has nothing to do with backbone, its about respecting the law, even if the law sucks.

    What would you recommend, go after the offender like a mad puppy, make him jobless, rape his girlfriend and kill his family just because someone relate to me was “seen” taking a bath?

    Maybe I would agree with you if an offender had raped or killed someone I know and was let off with a warning, but for a petty non-violent and non-injury petty offence?

    That is not justice in my dictionary, that’s revenge and it certainly won’t make me a better person because I would be behind bars for a very long time.

    There is a Chinese saying “Heaven have eyes” and if the law fails to deal the necessary, then Heaven will” and it applies to the offenders, victims and fence-sitters.

    P/S: When I used “inciting”, I said at least “I would not”, I did not say she incited. So please do not put words in my mouth.

    TRE TEch

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  • Zhenzidan:

    If the law doesn’t get you, I’ll come after you.

    That’s what Monica did and did it so beautifully! Offender’s future is ruined? So what? The Chinese has a saying:早知今日,何必当初?

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  • Chinese Privilege?:

    Noor Mastura: I would like to tell you a story.

    Very long ago, my Malay classmate invited me to his house. Upon entering, I said to his grandparents and parents:”Hello uncle, auntie.” They did not acknowledge my greeting nor did they offer me a drink. They acted as if I did not exist. I looked at my Malay classmate who was shocked and embarrassed. I made my excuses and left quickly.

    I attended some Malay weddings and noticed this. Someone will dish out the food to seated guests. They would serve Malays first and Chinese second. By the time, they came to the Chinese, it was meager leftovers. On one occasion, my Chinese female colleague joked that we all have to eat at mamak stall after this. Even Chinese weddings will make sure everyone got an equal share. AND as usual, Malays must have special treatment, like Muslim food for them.

    There are rude and nasty Malays in retail as well. But I think it should not be a racial thing. They are probably lazy and don’t like to attend to customers.

    So Noor, if you were me, what would you think? Oh I’m Chinese.

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  • Chinese Privilege?:

    Is it true Malays in Singapore get FREE education?

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  • Talk is Cheap!:

    @TRE Tech

    I am in my 70s’ and I have “eaten more salt than you have eaten rice”! Talk is cheap! I still maintain, if the offender has taken pictures of your mother, sister, wife or daughter showering and ogled at the pictures, you will not only go for his reputation, you will probably go for his throat. Heaven may have eyes but Heaven can wait!

    No one is saying the offender should be crucified. We are saying the punishment meted out will not serve as a deterrent for others. Don’t forget every student at NUS can have two bites at the cherry!

    Let’s hope it does not happen to you and if it does, let’s see if you can “talk the talk and walk the walk”!

    Tech: Like I said, I would allow the law to take its natural course. It is no fault of the offender that he was given a slap on the wrist. If there’s blame to go around, I would blame the inadequacies of the system and policies and then go cry father and cry mother to the authorities.

    Laws are there for a good reason. It may not be perfect but we must respect that. Taking the law into one’s own hands does not make anyone a better man.

    .

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  • handcuffing young kids:

    //At the very least, I would not take law into my own hands and go around indirectly inciting / encouraging hatred and invite netizens to hound the offender//

    yes and no. it is precisely when the certain law or procedure is perceived to be wayang that people start to ‘take it’ in their own hands. e.g ours is peanut powder compared to extreme cases of village justice in some latin american countries even for ‘minor’ offences, the people knowing that the law / justice system may just be ‘slap lightly on the wrist’ of the culprit(s). but don’t worry, sinkies are ‘civilised’ and we have been brainwashed not to to the way of village justice (perhaps wayang justice but never village justice) ?

    but law keeps on changing (sometimes wayang changes and sometimes real changes) to the “need” of society (e.g sometimes could be manufactured need by the higher white idiots like 4 = 5 and selected = elected) and wahla it becomes law (suddenly all is well and legal).

    and in this case, what so far many people are doing is ‘illegal’ (not lawful and taking law into their own hand), would the law enforcement start to go around hunting / arresting all those (many may be ladies themselves and men who may have daughters and so having empathy with the lady student) who have posted and petition in support the of the lady student.

    //That is not justice in my dictionary, that’s revenge and it certainly won’t make me a better person because I would be behind bars for a very long time.//

    and yes it may bother on ‘revenge’ (or call it as looking for proper closure) and it won’t make anyone a better person (in fact, the hurt and soul searching for whoever /whatever institution is going to leave a ‘long’ sour taste for most people and now the whole incident has claimed two victims, both the girl at first and now the boy student also).

    well the law enforcement does not mind handcuffing young kids and going into school (no post incidental life long trauma for these young impressionable souls ?) in certain cases just to project wayang fear, power and authority ? and people (using their own yardstick) are bound to compare cases to justify what they perceive as unequal treatment ?

    note : i do respect the view of TRE Tech as almost all of us are neither the victim or the offender or institution tasked to handle such matter (no real skin in the incident).

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  • Bapak:

    I don’t think I agree with your statement below. We cannot accept sucked law. Just like we cannot accept rule by law.

    Monica did not ask people to rape his gf, make him jobless nor kill his family. This thinking of yours is unacceptable as TRE Tech. She only wants justice to be correctly served. Don’t forget there were similar cases and perpetrators were jailed.

    So being remorseful one can get away with the first strike? This is totally unacceptable. What happen if this person is you gf?

    However, we all should learn one very important lesson here. That is, the power of social media (including you, TRE) could bring forth true justice. Let’s be proud of it.

    @TRE Tech

    This has nothing to do with backbone, its about respecting the law, even if the law sucks.

    What would you recommend, go after the offender like a mad puppy, make him jobless, rape his girlfriend and kill his family just because someone relate to me was “seen” taking a bath?

    @Zhenzidan is right.

    It’s precisely because the authorities did a fucked up job, that’s why she took her own action through the social media, and you now accuse her of “inciting hatred”. Did she urge all netizens to hound at the offender? I don’t remember reading any of her statements asking netizens to do so. She merely related her stories and other righteous netizens decided to CSI the offender’s identity to warn other girls. I’m so proud of these netizens!

    Tech: I did not said Monica did incite or asked that the offender be “taken care of”. The part about rape and killing was a question directed at the poet.

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  • Bapak:

    Dear Noor,

    We the citizens of Singapore are not racist. Only one organization is. They even went all out to change the law and make sure a Chinese won’t be sitting on the “highest” office.

    Strictly, reserved for Malay. But the is where “Heaven got eyes” comes in. So happen this Malay is actually an Indian.

    You should go after this organization, not us SINGAPOREAN. You and I (Bapak Chinese) must be united as one. It is this organization that is dividing and conquer. Don’t fall into their traps.

    Selamat Malam!

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  • Partial truth?:

    早知今日,何必当初?Hard to conclude.

    This statement nice to use but not truth. Use it on hyflux bond investors , they also ” f ” back even not with their mouth , in their heart they will ” f ” back.

    Recent example , the 51 years old coffee owner ( should be millionaire ) if recalled correctly who accidently caused the death of the cleaner if 早知今日 will never have a row with him. Of course he can easily hire lawyer.

    Another example . The former Mediacorp artist 胡問遂 martial arts expert was attack until face bloody in some club / lounge also dare not fight back.

    @ I don’t think I agree with your statement below. We cannot accept sucked law. Just like we cannot accept rule by law.

    So accept law or dont accept law ? At your discretion! But then who more jialat? Your own judgement.

    What about the rumour the guy comes from rich and influential family ? Anyhow spread.

    Face the music yes agree. Then again 人誰無錯.

    Miss Monica claims traumatised, fear of using public toilets. Understandable but regardless have to overcome. Next time do a sweep of the surrounding before you do your thing . Invest in hidden camera detectors , can buy online. She not the only female using public toilet out there. If she teo, others also teo. Perhaps consider dress in a burqas, sure very safe.

    By the way , another case of man shoot man in male toilet. Should the man also complain to NUS principle, i also traumatize?

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  • NUS Voyeur:

    The Voyeur had once taken a photo where he wore like a rich man son.

    Yet the news said he not rich.

    We need a private investigator to trace where he lives? Is this allowed?

    Even a poor man may have rich people as relatives or he could be driver for a rich man.

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