Avoid being personal

If somebody makes a statement that you disagree with, it is all right to express your opinion.

However, you should avoid making any personal attack or attribute any motive, without further evidence.

Recently, there was a video showing an media interview given that President Trump to a rally that was held. It concerns the crowd making a statement – send her back, with regard to a congress women of color.

The media pointed out that there was inconsistency between the statement made at the interview and the actual happening at the rally.

It did not say that President Trump told a lie, which implied that he deliberately done so. It was possible that the president was mistaken.

It also did not make any personal attack on the president.

It is quite a common habit for people in Singapore to make personal attack or to make an unjustified allegation concerning a view that they disagree with. It is wrong and should be avoided.

 

Tan Kin Lian

 

 

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16 Responses to “Avoid being personal”

  • patriot of TUMASIK:

    Tan Ahhhh!!! you are living in a weird world of Make Belief…had better wake up your PE experience should be quite clear…that is the real WORLD!!!

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  • Why Trump Won:

    He is not affected by any attacks on him, he is just oblivious to any criticisms. In fact he turned around and attacked all critics.
    He became president and will make USA great again.

    A tiny dot was once governed by a PM who challenged an opponent one on one in a cul de sac, he became the longest reigning PM. The dot became fairly successful, punching above it’s weight.

    Politics can be tough job. Some nasty criticisms hurt badly.
    Any sincere criticism is usually personal, as it is directed at the source.
    How hard the criticisms are depends on how bad the thing is.
    The higher the position, the more severe the criticisms as one small misstep will affect many.

    By no means learning to take harsh criticisms is the only path to greatness. Another way is to avoid doing anything and be totally quiet, so there can be nothing to critic about,just like our current president.

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  • Tan, Lost Scratching his head:

    I’ll be honest with you TKL, you have lost all their respect.

    As, I didn’t see anyone else receiving the same kind of harsh treatment as you.

    Tan, don’t need to look around, looking for excuses, is only you!, I am sure. No need to write, he say, they say, trump say…. misdirection. We know how to read.

    You see, no one else here in TRE needs to write like you, “Avoid being personal”, “State your grievances clearly”, “Develop your character”…..

    You continue against the grains, you will lose all the “influential friends”…. didn’t you observe their body language lately?

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  • oxygen:

    THE HEADING OF THIS ARTICLE betrays the “personal” affront of the writer to anyone disagreeing.

    There is 4 quadrant to disagreement in any subject-matter of discourse. These are

    - passivity meets with passivity

    - passivity meets with aggression

    - aggression meets with passivity

    - aggression meets with aggression

    IT IS NOT EXCLUSIVELY TWO-DIMENSIONAL BINARY DIVIDE OF “BEING PERSONAL” OR SUBJECT FOCUS.

    A strong compelling rebuttal might be incorrectly mistaken as being personal because the message receiver is just an inflated ego balloon unable to take a little gentle pin prick – the hot air is out!

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  • Darth Vader:

    Okay, so now we know; tkl is just another moron-in-white going by his “do as I say, not as I do” attitude

    Don’t make personal attacks? Didn’t tkl call people who slammed his opinions as having “poor upbringing”? Isn’t THIS a personal attack? And worse still, it’s not just a personal attack against his critics but their PARENTS as well

    As for Trump, does tkl know that the members of the “squad”, the four leftist congresswomen he slammed had been and continue to call him names sch as “Nazi” never his strong pro-Jewish policies, “murderer” and other such abusive terms? But when he turns the tables on them he is wrong. So tkl, aren’t you behaving EXACTLY like the members of the squad is calling your critics “ill-mannered” then whining away when you receive the same treatment from them as you’ve been dishing out to them?

    Or is THIS WHY you sympathize with the squad?

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  • Making a statement?:

    Let’s be clear that there is
    1) making a statement that is neutral for you
    2) making a statement about a policy that is killing you.

    If a person support a policy that is killing you, there is no choice but to be personal, especially if the person is holding office implementing the policy.

    It is the same as a person repeatedly cutting you with a knife, and you are asked not to be personal. Attack the quality of the knife, don’t get personal with the one holding the knife. Stupid lah.

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  • Harder Truths:

    Can you tell this to the $G citizens held in the ISD cold store?
    Whom did they make personal remarks against?

    You misunderstand despots and their minions. Everything to them is personal.

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  • TruBlu:

    I say *AVOID BEING SILLY*?

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  • Reality Check:

    ” Recently, there was a video showing an media interview given that President Trump to a rally that was held. It concerns the crowd making a statement – send her back, with regard to a congress women of color.

    The media pointed out that there was inconsistency between the statement made at the interview and the actual happening at the rally.

    It did not say that President Trump told a lie, which implied that he deliberately done so. It was possible that the president was mistaken.

    It also did not make any personal attack on the president”

    I have been reading the above passage many times over and over and over and still cannot understand the example Mr Tan is using to prove or maybe disprove his point about unsubstantiated personal attack. The sentences do not seem to link to show continuation of the story making it appear very disjointed. I Wonder whether i am the only who do not understand what Mr Tan is trying to say.

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  • thin skinned, join clown pap:

    it is said, loudly, each time lky son the clown is asked about his wife lucrative S$m job in temasick he goes ballistic.

    going ballistic is a sign of a weak mind justifying the unjustifiable via a ballistic reaction.

    similarly, clearly, each time a stupid person is asked why he says this and that he goes personal.

    going personal is a mental illness justifying every legitimate question about stupidity as personal attack.

    Did anyone hear or read about Dr Chee SJ lamenting about personal attack even though clown pap from lky to goh chock tong to today all falsely accuse him? no. none. because Dr Chee SJ has substance.

    Did anyone hear or read about Ms Sylvia Lim Mr Leo Perera Mr Lim Tean Mr Leong SZ Mr Roy Ngerng and all such worthy sons and daughters of Singapore lamenting about personal attack even though clown pap from lky to goh chock tong to today all falsely accuse them, from town council false accusations to even being sued in pap courts? no. none. because they all have substance.

    So is tan kin lian correct or wrong? no need to say much. just this. tan kin lian is wrong. PERIOD.

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  • oxygen:

    @ Reality Check

    MATE, GLAD YOU BROUGHT THIS UP – I, too, CAN’T COMPREHEND TKL’s rambling in this thread after repeated reads. That is why my feedback comments refer ONLY TO THE ARTICLE’S HEADLINE READ of his implied suggestion but NOT the body content of his “literary masterpiece” here.It is NOT my sarcasm here but trying to be euphemistic and polite.

    Reality Check: I have been reading the above passage many times over and over and over and still cannot understand the example Mr Tan is using to prove or maybe disprove his point about unsubstantiated personal attack. The sentences do not seem to link to show continuation of the story making it appear very disjointed. I Wonder whether i am the only who do not understand what Mr Tan is trying to say.

    Had I attempted to refute his seemingly “MUDDLED THOUGHTS” by this descript, he could shot back as this is another “crime” of social media counter response of yet an “offensive” conduct of “PERSONAL ATTACK”.

    He would claim the high moral ground of virtuous behavior and mine as allegedly “debased”.

    WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IF THAT REALLY EVENTUATES IN REALITY?

    I was attacking his “THOUGHTS” – NOT THE MAN, MR.TKL. If it was a face to face interaction, I would be still attacking his muddled “THOUGHTS” but shook his hand of friendship in reciprocity.

    IN INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION, PEOPLE ALWAYS PROJECT THEIR OWN FLAWED BEHAVIOR AS WHAT IS COMING FROM THE COUNTER-PARTY AND IN THAT DISTORTED CONFUSED WALK HAS NO SELF-AWARENESS!!!

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  • the 999th highest level:

    //It did not say that President Trump told a lie, which implied that he deliberately done so. It was possible that the president was mistaken.//

    aiyoh. trump has normalized “anyhow say” to the 999th highest level on freedom of speech ?

    effectively telling everyone “don’t just believe on what anyone says, look at his action” ?

    the same message can be sent to daft sinkies, “don’t just believe what the white idiots say, look at their actions” ?

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  • vincent tan:

    too unfriendly
    too harsh
    too dark
    too hot
    if mr TanKL thought so of these devilish
    Tremeritus commentators’ wise feedbacks
    then don’t be shy, please take your leave.
    I for one swear that Won’t Miss You A Slightest Bit !!
    bye bye

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  • PAP contractors close down:

    It’s quite true. The personal attackes are usually made by older people on younger ones. Elders and those in authority demand respect without having to earn it but usually disrespects and condescends to the juniors.

    Even if someone disagrees nicely, the elders or bosses often perceive it as disrespect. Usuaaly they lose their cool and start making personal attackes.

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  • To TKL:

    Yes, it is always rationale to say we should attack the point not the person who makes the point.
    The problem is many people, especially the higher up and powerful keep telling half truth(intentionally or not) and expect the others to accept and abide by it.
    That is why you see very angry or desperate people like the late JBJ and CSJ while those powerful people who assassinate their characters disproportionally sue people for libels and always win in Singapore court of law. Do you call this civil society, constructive politics?
    Look at our transport system.
    The privatisation and listing of SMRT in the 1990s benefited the rich giving out generous dividends and huge pay package to the CEOs and what happened next? Train disruption, breakdown. And then they say it is good to use taxpayer money to delist SMRT. Now they say they need to increase fare to keep up with maintenance and standard of delivery.
    To make up for the shortfall of bus services, people resort to cycling. Now those who can afford buy e-scooters, e-bicycles, PMD, PMA.
    The minimum bus fare of $0.83 can mean a lot to a lot of people.
    And the Transport Ministry, under the so-called great problem solver (sic) formerly Minister in MND and MOH, encourages cycling, e-scooter, PMD.
    Look at our population growth and the infrastructure, the pedestrian walkways, HDB void decks, lift lobby are so narrow, full of columns.
    We need say an American tourist to get killed or seriously injured by an e-scooter rider before PAP wakes up. The lives of ordinary Singaporeans, foreign workers are cheap, sad to say, but it is PAP capitalistic and Singapore’s mentality.
    Now, the seriously injured are poor Singaporeans, and who pay for their medical fees and loss of income?
    There were 4 serious fires in HDB flat due to PMD the last week or so, who is going to bear the loss of the neighbours of these PMD owners?
    No wonder, I keep receiving letter from insurance company to buy property insurance, and like our national health medical insurance, this insurance premium will keep increasing because the risk has increased (TKL should know more about insurance).
    Should I go to my MP every week and keep harping on my point?
    The late LKY says we need a heavy weight PAP Minister as our MP, but will this million $ minister listen to you? Maybe as formerly PAP member and government controlled NTUC Income CEO, you have access to these powerful people to listen to your grievances.
    In Singapore, PAP pushed through and managed to get the walk over Indian-Malay EP, despite the civil debate in parliament and Hong Lim Park.
    Look at Hong Kong’s extradition bill – its legislators approved or were due to approve the bill, and what happens next is unimaginable and the government backs out!

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  • Asd:

    Tan King Kong.. beh ta han than don’t post publicly.. go write in your personal diary before bed time..

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