Avoid being overbearing in giving your feedback

On two recent occasions, my friend gave me a lengthy feedback about the feelings from the ground.

I generally welcome feedback, but it should be within sensible limit.

On these occasions, the feedback was given to me in a lengthy fashion, and gave the impression that it is the dominant feedback.

I have received feedback from many sources covering different segments of the population.

I do not accept any of the feedback to be overwhelming “correct” or “convincing”. It represents the view of one person, or maybe it is shared by a group of people. But it cannot be representative of many people.

I have to politely tell my friends that I have heard their feedback and wish to attend to other matters. I do not want to be overwhelmed by their feedback.

They should be aware that it is not proper to impose their feedback in an overbearing manner.

I do interact with many people, and some of these people can be overbearing, without realizing it. A handful of them can take away all of my available time.

 

Tan Kin Lian

 

 

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19 Responses to “Avoid being overbearing in giving your feedback”

  • TKL rejected by majority:

    No wonder you lose your election deposit and rejected literally by the people.

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  • Old Nuisance:

    I do not accept any of the feedback to be overwhelming “correct” or “convincing”.:

    No wonder you felt overbore. By refusing to accept what is “Right”, you are behaving like a old nuisance and have to resort to “excusing” yourself from your own “friends”. Can we say socially not accepted?

    May I remind you that as in Judicial System; A majority opinion is a judicial opinion and sets forth the decision of the court regardless if TKL felt overbore or not.

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  • Personal bad:

    All your friends should be sitting at least 2 tables away from you so that TRE’s Readers can be saved from reading all your nonsense personal bad experience.

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  • heng not 1st class degree:

    I do not want to be overwhelmed by their feedback.

    since there is lack of ability to accept feedback and improve, the only consequence is to remain stupid and to get stupider.

    looks like in danger mode now, going fast from stupider to stupidest. what a pity. could have been a useful pair of hands helping out at OPPO rallies. but since so stupid, better not risk it with such stupidity. may taint the very good name of OPPO alliance under Dr Tan CB Dr Chee SJ and such.

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  • opposition dude:

    The feedback from the voters was crystal clear in the presidential election if I remember correctly.

    Not even 10% of voters wanted Mr Tan and that sort of feedback is clear without being overbearing.

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  • TruBlu:

    TKL should say,” AVOID BEING OVERBEARING AND L I S T E N to FEEDBACK or even CONTSTRUCTIVE BUT HONEST CRITICISMS”???

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  • Darth Vader:

    tkl, it is our RIGHT to be as overbearing in our feedback as we want! If we know 10 things are wrong, we list 10 things. We know 10 trillion things are wrong, we list 10 trillion. We have detailed analyses WHY these wrongs are wrong, we can point out every detail if we’re so inclined

    What’s the matter tkl? Feelung butt hurt that NOBODY agrees with your STUPID ideas and LUNATIC RAVINGS????!!!! So you just want us to say, oh, we disagree with you or oh, we think you’re wrong? Sure, we can do that, but then you’ll just dismiss what we say as just our opinions which happen to be wrong at best, or we’re just opposing for the sake of opposing, just like your former party the pap does all the time? You think we’re stupid like you? We’rr not, okay?

    You know what tkl, if you really CANNOT take criticism, then you know what, very easy. Just do this very one simple thing

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  • Jman:

    Mr Tan, what you say is indeed true.

    There are many people who seem to believe their view is THE view, that everyone else must come round to. They could not be further from the truth. The truth is that many of us have shelter and food, and so are now pulling in all different directions. There is decreasing common ground as each individual demands that things be done to suit his/her chosen path.

    It is a clear sign of self centredness.

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  • Harder Truths:

    My puppy says he loves you – he wants to know if you feel the same way about him.

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  • Asd:

    Already told u .. bth than go write in yr personal diary before bed time and don’t post publicly..

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  • Bapak:

    TKL, please do yourself a favour. The more you write here the more stupidier you look. People are beginning to realize you are actually a comedian rather than a politician.

    Don’t follow that clown. We are not going to send in another clown.

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  • My Ego Does The Talking:

    What kind of feedfack you don’t accept?
    1) criticisms.
    2) People scolding you
    3) People say your policies don’t work for them.

    Is there such a thing as right or wrong feedback? People say that you aren’t doing a good job they have to be wrong?

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  • patriot of TUMASIK:

    If there is anyone MORE OVERBEARING it is you and your contributions it is not only overbearing at times it is DISGUSTING!!!

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  • Selfish Sinkie Syndrome:

    Last time when this “Talk-Kok-Lang” (TKL) was head at No-Trouble-Until-Claim (NTUC), was he “overbearing” himself?

    Don’t be a hypocrite lah…. last time, when he on top with PAP gangster class, how did his subordinates at NTUC view him?
    Now, when he no more power Elite, then he talk like he himself is not “over-bearing” or enshrine values of open feedback and respectful exchange?

    I have not heard any good comments so far from his former subordinates and colleagues, but have heard from the grapevine that TCB in contrast, was a good man.

    Wonder what his ex-colleagues or ex-subordinates will say of him?
    Not “Over-bearing” and “receptive” to feedback like he claims to be? Ha!

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  • oxygen:

    MY 5-yr OLD NIECE throws tantrum when refused of her demand for lolly.

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  • oxygen:

    IT IS ALMOST EXCLUSIVE of concealed deceit – ONLY THE MORALLY-DETACHED keeps on DESPERATELY moaning and groaning of their FAKE MORALITY in the public space.

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  • never vote pap:

    Jman:
    Mr Tan, what you say is indeed true.

    There are many people who seem to believe their view is THE view, that everyone else must come round to. They could not be further from the truth. The truth is that many of us have shelter and food, and so are now pulling in all different directions. There is decreasing common ground as each individual demands that things be done to suit his/her chosen path.

    It is a clear sign of self centredness.

    a clear sign of self centredness?

    you are maintaining this view. using your words, this is your chosen path.

    so what makes you different from those who maintain their views? those on a different path from yours?

    or do you mean it is ok for you to hold your view and others with a different view from yours cannot hold their views?

    long story short. what you are saying is LPPL. why not just be wise and say, there are more educated minds today and so more various the viewpoints. and in such a society, the means of proceeding with which viewpoint must be clear, such as two-thirds majority or a simple majority.

    then those outside the proceeding means shall need to accept the final result. of course this does not mean cannot kpkb even though accept the results, whether 2/3 or simple. only thing cannot accept is cheating, such as pap is now cheating via a pliant parleement. what pap is doing is pure evil. especially when abuse rule of law via 1 pap rule 2 pap interpretations.

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  • Eric:

    Haha the former NTUC Boss still as arrogant and cocky as ever. No level headed sporean will vote him into parliament if given an opportunity.

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  • Jman:

    @ Never Vote PAP

    You feel you are right and everyone must submit to your view. Why should I, and why should anyone else?‘ Everyone must agree with your view, and must submit to it. This is Trump like tantrums pushing and shoving everyone else around at will, behaving like spoilt kid.

    Your post is a perfect example of what I mentioned.

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