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AWARE’s call

I disagree with AWARE’s renewed call for the government to shorten the minimum 3 years of marriage before divorce proceedings can begin.

The above is one of its 6 recommendations submitted to the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) in response to the ministry’s consultation papers on reducing acrimony and better supporting divorcees and their children.

Despite our modernity and the widely use of the english language, Singapore is an asian society at heart with asian cultures and asian values running deep in our upbringings and our psyche.

The government has rightly adopted the approach that families are building blocks of society and strong families will make for a stronger and more resilient society.

For any marriages to end up in divorce is most unfortunate and each one has its own heartbreaking story to tell and I accept that some marriages do break down irretrievably even within the first 3 years of marriage but there are many more marriages that will continue to stay loving, stay strong, stay intimate, stay alive with the spouses’ right spirit and realistic expectations etc.

The institution of marriage must be nurtured, protected and valued. If the government were to accept AWARE’s recommendation to shorten the minimum 3 years before divorce proceeding can commence, then it is sending a very clear and negative message to younger Singaporeans.

In such a case, divorce rates must spike, people’s attitudes toward a committed and shared marriage will be diluted, sacred and sacrosanct bondings of marriage must weaken and our society on the whole will be poorer for it. In short, our society will lose out.

One other point that we mustn’t forget is fake marriages and they are not infrequently used by unscrupulous and desperados involving foreigners. Such sham marriages will compound our social problems, add to our crime rates and quick divorce will fit nicely into their scheme of things.

In our local context, some people even resort to marriage not out of genuine love for each other and are ready to settle down but merely setting their sight on a HDB flat…

In conclusion, divorce is a complicated matter and not making it sooner for divorce will force people to consider marriage seriously which marriage deserves.

To my sucker friends and you know who you are, what do you all suckers think?

Think.

 

Simon Lim

 

 

yyy
READER COMMENTS BELOW

10 Responses to “AWARE’s call”

  • Kayue:

    The defect lies in the mind.

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  • Sucker who?:

    It’s hard to comment on Simon’s thinking, because the things that preoccupy him are so utterly alien to me. For the most part, it’s farcical if not hypocritical.

    The bonds of sacramental marriage are meant to be for life. In these modern times in rare cases divorces might be justified but if you look at it as a game that we’re allowed to fudge the rules, then I can almost understand where Simon is coming from. Bro, look into your bathroom mirror.

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  • Sad:

    Sad situation.
    Marriage bond and commitment should be taken seriously.
    Should not make it easy to divorce…let people work through their problem. Especially if children involved.
    Life is not always rosy.

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  • Marriage is just a piece of paper and an insurance to ensure that when the other party dies, the surviving can legally inherit.

    True love should not be based on a piece of paper, no?

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  • Love's a many splendored thing:

    “You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings… Love cannot be forced, love cannot be coaxed and teased. It comes out of heaven, unasked and unsought.”

    - Pearl S. Buck

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  • xoxo:

    Too many people,especially young couples,take MARRIAGE VOW too casually.
    In fact,too SLOPPILY!

    A VOW IS SACRED AND MARRIAGE VOW IS NOT JUST A LEGALITY.
    OFTENTIMES,RUSHING INTO MARRIAGE LEADS TO BREAKDOWN N DIVORCE.
    COUPLES MUST GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER BEFORE GETTING MARRIED.
    WHY SHUD ANYONE *DISLIKE* OR HATE THAT GIRL OR LAD HE/SHE FALLS MADLY IN LOVE WITH?
    THERE MUST BE SOMETHING *LOVABLE* ABOUT THAT PERSON.

    WE GET USED TO EACH OTHER N TAKE EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED.
    ADULTERY ASIDE,THERE ARE MANY OTHER REASONS,sometimes silly,why couples break out.

    Even the most loving couple can end out in divorce for flimsy reasons.

    Married couples must learn the art of FORGIVENESS; who is so perfect,who does not make mistakes?
    Afterall,we are humans born to make mistakes.

    Couples must try to forgive each other for the the small faults before going to bed,it is a good way to protect marriages.
    If couples harbour each other’s faults,even the tiniest ones,DIVORCE IS SURE TO COME.

    I notice modern people communicate via digitals like WHATSAPP ETC,this is unhealthy for marriage couples.
    There is nothing like actually TALKING TO EACH OTHER.
    THE EMOJIs can never truly express your real feelings or thoughts and the intended message can get miscontrued and end out in a BIG MISUNDERSTANDING AND QUARRELS?

    EVEN face-to-face conversation can be misinterpreted,not to mention MESSAGES SENT FROM WHATSAPP?

    LACK OF HUMAN-TO-HUMAN COMMUNICATION IS A CONSTANT CAUSE OF MISUNDERSTANDING AND BREAK OUTS.

    TALK,YOU ARE HUMANS,NOT JUST AN *APP*???

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  • Carpet Munching Playwright:

    The love that dare not speak its name.

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  • Harder Truths:

    Why is the regime tryin to control people’s relationships? If two people wanted to marriage / divorce it is between them and no one else.

    This is an insane level of communism / slavery, where individuals cannot even make personal decisions without the Almighty Regime telling them what restrictions they should follow.

    The stop-at-two policy was one of the biggest policies against local citizens, and the regime should have been removed right there. Instead, the people continued to give them the mandate until now you cannot hold up a smiley face anywhere without being afraid of the ISD. Not even in China. Not even in the USSR.

    $G sucks and will continue to suck worse as time goes on. It is already too late to change.

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  • AWARE 1985:

    AWARE was founded on 25 Nov 1985, more than 35 years ago.
    On 26 Nov 1985, AWARE should have put out a call for female Singaporeans to do NS.
    It did not.
    So 35 years later, it still has no credibility.

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  • liew mun leong must be jailed:

    AWARE 1985:
    AWARE was founded on 25 Nov 1985, more than 35 years ago.
    On 26 Nov 1985, AWARE should have put out a call for female Singaporeans to do NS.
    It did not.
    So 35 years later, it still has no credibility.

    our apologies bro. we must disagree with you.

    you see, we know for certain why you cannot be right.

    1, we were born before independence. at that time, a nice packet of nasi lemak is 10 cents. we move about mostly on foot or bicycles.

    2, NSF those days were 3 years. learned nothing in those wasted years except polishing boots and starching uniform.

    3, but in those days, it was truly a worthwhile activity even though we didn’t like it one little bit especially the harassment part.

    4, in those days, NSF was for nation building. although we disagreed with most policies, there was still a stake for everyone in the nation. how can it not be so when the prime minister is making only a fair few thousand per month and most folks on the average are like each other in social background.

    5, fast forward to current days of thieving S$m political leadership where the leading clown says a billionaire from anywhere in the world is far more worthy. what the leading clown is saying is S$billion is the measure, not the heart, not the loyalty.

    so we believe, and know, for 100% certainty, NSF today is a useless exercise on the part of those doing it. because it is an activity they waste their effort, and youth, for the sake of leading clown and gang enticing the world billionaires to park their backsides here.

    if NSF is just a farce, even though it is for a shorter 2 years now, it is no longer a worthwhile activity. because it is no longer for nation building. how to build a nation, when as things stand, the local born is ALREADY outnumbered in own land of birth?

    in other words, for male local born to waste 2 years in NSF is already a big No, No, No.

    and it is pure e**l to even suggest for our female local born to waste their precious 2 years too.

    granted there are many foolish local born female who prefer to be cotton sheep. even so, we are not as e**l as the leading clown and gang and say, let them die. No. because they are local born, female, we do not wish any bad to come to them, meaning, waste their youth over 2 uselessly spent years in NSF. they can be cotton sheep. but they are still fellow citizens whom we hope one day they see the light and start to vote WP PSP and not the lying thieving pap.

    NSF for female local born, however it is justified, is WRONG.

    we are male citizens who have gone through independence and NSF NSR. we know what we are talking about.

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