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Should parents use physical means to discipline their children?

I refer to Your Say ”Should parents use physical means to discipline their children?” (TODAY’ Voices, Oct 9).

The core purpose of reprimanding or disciplining your children is to teach them how to distinguish right from wrong. And, hoping that they will not repeat the similar or same mistake again .

In due respect, we (as the parents) should ask ourselves the following questions, and then carefully weigh in and decide their method of preference for discipline:

1)Would the physical means of punishments have apparent or effective deterrent effects? As, in today’s context, most children are smart enough to question and doubt your physical means of discipline.

2)Would the physical means of punishments have hidden or far-reaching negative psychological and mindset impacts on our children?

3)Would the adoption of soft approaches, such as coaching, counselling or verbal reprimanding have better effects and outcome than physical means?

As Confucius advocated that meaningful and heartfelt counselling which is equipped with live examples of reasoning will be able to touch the learner’s heart, drive and shape up the learner’s behaviours in long term.

Thus, parents should bear in mind that their daily own behaviours and words will be the effective or “cruel”; realistic mirror for their children to emulate.

In due course, parents should always prepare to equip with right morals and life values for their children to emulate. This will greatly prevent them to make serious or big mistakes in their life journeys.

 

Teo Kueh Liang (Mr)

 

 

yyy
READER COMMENTS BELOW

9 Responses to “Should parents use physical means to discipline their children?”

  • Singaporean R Free Rider:

    Will children learn if there is no punishment ?

    Well, let’s put it this way.

    You tell a child that the pot is hot, do not get into contact with it.

    If the child is wise, he will heed your warning.

    If the child is unwise, he got scalded and then he truly learn what is hot.

    So, is counselling good? Is punishment good?

    Some people, and I say some, need to be punished hard to taught them a lesson.

    e.g.
    1. death penalty for drug trafficker.
    2. jack chua and those who screwed around without taking responsibility
    Jack Chua used all his money on mistress and never contribute a single towards his son upbringing…
    https://bit.ly/3PMVWB3

    Anybody here disagree?

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  • xoxo:

    Westerners use *soft* approaches,their kids go around shooting their school teachers and school-mates?

    Some others whack their kids so violently,their kids become violent.
    So,what to do?
    Set good examples.
    Be the father or mother you want your son or daughter to become.
    Thats why i am not for gay marriage ,etc.
    A family must be whole,not hollow.
    Not easy in this crazy world.

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  • No one size fit all:

    Reality. No one size fit all.
    Some child work with soft approach while others need a hard spank.

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  • Relax:

    @”1)Would the physical means of punishments have apparent or effective deterrent effects?”

    Response: law/punishment treats the symptoms but not the root cause (治标不治本).
    Laozi(老子) quoted “失道而后德 (lose the moral and then the virtue),失德而后仁 (lose the virtue and then the benevolence), 失仁而后义(lose the benevolence and then the righteous), 失义而后礼(lose the righteous and then the courtesy). Punishment is the last resort when the above mentioned are gone.

    Just wondering is there loopholes in deterrent punishment?

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  • Relax:

    @Singaporean R Free Rider:
    You tell a child that the pot is hot, do not get into contact with it.
    If the child is wise, he will heed your warning.
    If the child is unwise, he got scalded and then he truly learn what is hot.”

    Response:
    1) The example is not punishment, unless you scalded the child’s hand if he/she makes mistakes. If you do that, can consider child abuse.

    2) Telling the child that the pot is hot is ‘theory’, the child touch it is ‘experiential learning’, the child got scalded is ‘theory proven’. So the child learned by experiencing/doing it, not listening to theory only.
    Isn’t experiential learning is our school education approach?

    3) Using coaching approach, the child should be guided to know the theory of ‘hot’, ‘warm’, ‘cold’…

    All children are wise, difference is their inquisitive level.

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  • Tri star brand:

    No.

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  • Cat z.:

    This sign need to be put up in all bus interchange and mrt platforms more then
    No smoking sign – NO FIGHTING!(BIG BIG sign) urgently.

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  • Singaporeans R Free Riders:

    Relax:
    @Singaporean R Free Rider:
    You tell a child that the pot is hot, do not get into contact with it.
    If the child is wise, he will heed your warning.
    If the child is unwise, he got scalded and then he truly learn what is hot.”

    Response:
    1) The example is not punishment, unless you scalded the child’s hand if he/she makes mistakes. If you do that, can consider child abuse.

    2) Telling the child that the pot is hot is ‘theory’, the child touch it is ‘experiential learning’, the child got scalded is ‘theory proven’. So the child learned by experiencing/doing it, not listening to theory only.
    Isn’t experiential learning is our school education approach?

    3) Using coaching approach, the child should be guided to know the theory of ‘hot’, ‘warm’, ‘cold’…

    All children are wise, difference is their inquisitive level.

    Thanks for the correction.

    I stood corrected.

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  • instantKarma:

    Those have power, money and gun always can teach whatever to any children or adult by force. No forms of teaching is universal.

    If a children/adult volunteer to learn something and cannot afford to pay the fees, you will go to free public school to learn the mainstream way. If parents harm children mentally and physically in order to teach them lessons, parents will receive the same teaching when these parents get old with instant karma.

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