TR EMERITUS

Here’s a study on resilience. The ability to bounce right back up after being KO’ed by circumstances, partly aided by yourself. SMU termed it as “the ability to roll with the punches” or thrive in difficult times.

SMU and Income Insurance recently undertook a study in September “that aimed to find out just how resilient Singaporeans actually are.” 2,021 Singaporeans between the ages of 26 and 78 participated in it and well, the good news is that we are generally resilient, mentally, physically, socially and financially.

Some vulnerabilities were identified though. And it comes as no surprise that ”the unemployed and lower-educated Singaporeans were the least resilient across all four domains - mental, physical, social and financial.”

“Single people were also found to be less financially and socially resilient than their married counterparts.”
Lesson? I read somewhere that a resilient person is someone who fails (or falls) gracefully. And we can’t avoid that. There is no perfect system. Neither a perfect person. This goes without saying.

But idealism makes day dreamers out of us. We seek, but often fail to find a model we can put all our resources and hope into. Disappointments abounds. Every birth is hot-wired to look for perfection. For some of us, it’s a lifetime pursuit, even at our deathbed. And if we can’t find it, no one is going to stop us from imagining it.

For many of us, romantics at heart, we thrive or are shortchanged while riding on the bandwagon of ambitious and lofty goals. We aim for the stars, but not everyone makes it. Some crash. But we get up against, and jumpstart the whole process, determined and always pushing.

Resilience is grounded on that turbo-charged streak of idealism. We don’t take no or failure for an answer. As long as there is a will, we make that way, one with our signature on it.

We believe we are made of magic stardust, not just plain and dull mud. As Genesis puts it, we are created in the image of God. Imago Dei is the Prometheus fire that burns deep in our soul. It is the fire in our belly that breathes purpose in us to fight back, bounce back up, and run the good race. Moses led a generation out of Egypt with it. David slayed Goliath with it. The disciples died for it. And Paul’s conversion was based on it.

Failing gracefully is what makes us look upward and fall forward when we are knocked out by life’s circumstances. We avoid falling face flat, but instead, back first so that we catch the boundless sky.

In the book, Resilience: Why things bounce back, author Andrew Zolli defines it as this: “…the capacity of a system, enterprise, or a person to maintain its core purpose and integrity in the face of dramatically changed circumstances.”

That core purpose is what drives all of us. For without hope, we perish. Give a man a fish, yes, but give him enough hope, he will not just learn how to fish, he will build a reservoir to breed a variety of fishes; even set up bistros and recreational parks around it to enliven the community.

And one magical thing about failing gracefully is that we reset our baseline after the fall. We are no longer the same person after falling forward. We mark an uncharted territory by a foot length. We see things differently.

We experience change, a change that shapes us. It’s a nuanced and modular change, nothing spectacular, but it changes how we see things, system, people, and life in general. It grants us the resolve to do what we have set in our hearts to do, empowered by that refreshed perspective.

That SMU study has revealed to us those who are vulnerable in society. Essentially, Income and relationship. Wealth is surely a buffer. But resilience is not the exclusive property of the rich and famous. Don’t forget the saying, the bigger (or higher) they come, the harder they fall. Success is one of the vulnerabilities too. It changes you. You can fall in other ways, even with your wealth intact. Life has a way of punishing you, without depriving you.

Ultimately, resilience is about finishing well. And you can expect many bouncing back up moments in that hardscrabble journey. For at the end of the day ought to be the day you end up with who and what matters to you. And a peace of mind and a contented heart have no price tag. They don’t serve them at the aisle of NTUC or 7-11. It is served along the journey, as you gather strength and hope, after you fall gracefully. You will then discover that grace embodied in lives and community has never given up on you.

Michael Han

* The author was a Director at Han & Lu  Law Chambers and blogs on Facebook.

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