What do you do with power?
November 19th, 2023 | 
Author: 
What do you do with power? Men, especially, when you know you can do what you want in the moment of a power intoxication.
I ask this because the ongoing trial of Singapore Idol ex-judge Ken Lim reminded me of the dark grip and seduction of power. And we are often a pawn in its hands. We are feted with the illusion of control, when we are no more than a means to its end.
I caveat that I am in no way prejudging the case, as Ken’s case will be undergoing five different trials, each involving one alleged victim. Ken is fighting for his innocence.
But some of the allegations made by the alleged victims gave me a glimpse of how power can overdrive one’s lust and self-importance.
It is a stern lesson in how men need to be very wary of how power has a life of its own, and is prone to abuse because imagined impunity shields them from being called out by the victims. They are often drunk on the idea that they will not get caught.
Here are some of the alleged accusations made by the victims.
His charge involved four victims of insulting their modesty and one of molest. It involved a long time line between 1998 and 2021.
For the insults, between 1998 and 1999, “he allegedly showed a pornographic video to a female artiste under his management who was between 19 and 21 years old then.”
“He allegedly told her she was sexually inexperienced and he could help her.”
Ken allegedly made a lewd remark to another young female artiste. “He purportedly asked the woman if he could be her first sex partner.”
On another occasion, Ken was “accused of offering to be her sexual partner to “fulfill her sexual fantasies””.
And in July 2012, “he allegedly asked a 26-year-old woman: “What if I have sex with you right now?””
Lesson? Let’s face it, a majority of such sexual offences are committed by one gender. No points for guessing which gender I am referring to.
You can argue that it is part of our biological and hormonal make-up or cultural conditioning or as a result of our patriarchal society or all of the above in varying mixes, but the reality can’t be denied.
As Freud puts it, “Sex is a prime motivator and common denominator for all of us. Even the most prudent, puritanical-appearing individuals may struggle greatly against their sexual appetites and expression.”
“For evidence one need only look to the many scandals that have rocked the Vatican and fundamentalist churches alike. Freud observed this prurient struggle in men and women early on in Victorian Vienna. But our sexuality defines us in healthy and altogether essential ways, too.”
This is compounded by power. It makes men dizzy at the commanding heights. They can’t feel their feet on the ground, and they are often driven to do things to ingratiate their lust, fleshly desires. For power is an all-consuming aphrodisiac, and it does what it wants when it takes full control. And it wants it now.
Power does two things. First it numbs one’s self control. It renders him pliable to his carnal desires. Some may see it as a biochemical chain reaction set off by one’s biological and environmental precursors, but it is no less a compelling force that over time exerts its control over the person.
Second, power gives one the illusion of his self-importance. He thinks less of the consequences of his actions and more of how the normal rules just do not apply to him. It grants him the delusion of impunity. He thinks he can get away with it.
Sadly, history has shown us that those in power do get away with the abuses. People are not only mesmerised by it, they know much is at stake fighting it. Most times, if not all of the time, absolute power takes a revolution to overthrow.
Victims thus choose to bear with it, rather than rock the boat. It just cost too much to blow the whistle. We therefore should be grateful for the forward march of civilisation and its liberal values that inspired and empowered the metoo movement.
The victims are taking power and control back. They and society are putting their collective weight on the other often neglected side of the balance of power see-saw, and are throwing abusers off their throne seat.
As Dietrich Bonhoeffer puts it: “We are not to simply bandage the wounds of victims beneath the wheels of injustice, we are to drive a spoke into the wheel itself.”
I believe times are changing, and it is changing for good.
Michael Han
* The author was a Managing Partner at Han & Lu Law Chambers LLP.
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Posted in 
When you have power, you thrust.
Dirty knights.
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This guy doesn’t appear to be a “judge”, more like some artist manager in the entertainment business from the profile of his supposed victims.
Is he really a judge as in sub-court type?
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Money is Power.
This is a greedy world.
This world has turned into a playground for the rich and powerfool$.
Even COVID cannot convert?
Humans need more “powerful” disasters?
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Reads like a CV for a vacant position in Parliament.
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Abuse of power is pervasive.
Power associated with religion and is being abused is the most sensitive and horrific one could imagine.
A fine example is the incident of “ Jonestown “ in Guiana in which close to one thousand innocent lives were lost!
Too dreadful to go any further!
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It is simple problem that people OVER THINK!
Men: Do not make sexual comments to women until you know them well enough to know what they find acceptable. Absolutely no touching a woman you do not know well. If a woman says no it means no. You may try to negotiate a yes but no still means no.
Women: If a man is being overly friendly, call him out on it before it gets bad. Tell him his behavior is unacceptable..
If we all followed these rules of behavior there would not be a problem. You don’t need to delve deeply into feminist theory or meta-analyze sexual fantasies in this case. What is offensive is whatever offends the person who is the object of the behavior. Cultural behavioral norms have developed throughout humanity in response to this, such that one does not behave in a manner so as to cause offense. While details might differ between cultures, that concept is still a universally held human concept. And, while we have to be flexible in defining its seriousness, and there is at least a minimal burden upon the purported victim to communicate that the action is unacceptable and offensive to that person, that can not be defined away by some hazy relativistic thinking.
Sexual mores are so relative it is nearly impossible to make universal definitions of any but the most obvious transgressions:
Tom Cruise walks into your office. He flashes the famous smile and says to the receptionist, “Hey beautiful, want to come over to my place?” Receptionist is highly flattered, tells all her friends. One says, “You were crazy not to take him up on it!”
The handsome office romeo walks into your office. He flashes a cute smile and says to the receptionist, “Hey beautiful, want to come over to my place?” Receptionist giggles, “Joey, you are such a flirt,” and forgets about it.
An older, overweight salesman walks into your office. He says to the receptionist, “Hey beautiful, want to come over to my place?” Receptionist reports him for sexual harassment.
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@ “Tom Cruise walks into your office. He flashes the famous smile and says to the receptionist, “Hey beautiful, want to come over to my place?” Receptionist is highly flattered, tells all her friends. One says, “You were crazy not to take him up on it!”
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An older, overweight salesman walks into your office. He says to the receptionist, “Hey beautiful, want to come over to my place?” Receptionist reports him for sexual harassment.”
So in lay man terms , if she into you. its not sexual harassment maybe flirtatious.
If she’s not into you its srxual harassment.
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How is this a sexual crime? He made some sexual proposals, if the girl was not agreeable and said no, isn’t it the end of it? Unless she was underaged or forced to do a sexual act, I don’t see a crime. All the girls could have walked away but didn’t? Why? Did he ask them for sex in exchange for acting or musical contracts?Indirectly did they not encourage him by not shutting him down?
@TR Tech
He is not a court judge but a talent judge for artists.
@Dalai says “Read My Lips,”
I can’t do an emoji of thumbs up and laughter but you are right. It all depends on who makes the proposal and how it is done.
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He is an ikan bilis compared to the people who run Communist Island.
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Criminals. These people. You are just ignorant and are in danger of becoming a criminal for not knowing the relevant laws.
Can you simply go to bus-stops and invite strangers for sex? Better still, go to AWARE offices and invite those people for sex. Then you will find out whether this is a crime of sexual harassment / assault. You want strangers to knock at your door and invite your female relatives for sex?
If the people are in power positions, that’s even worse. Imagine teachers inviting students for sex, bosses inviting subordinates for sex, judges inviting defendants and prosecutors for sex, majors inviting captains for sex, …
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@PAP mandate strong:
I think for it to be called harassment, the sexual proposals must be repeated several times in a work environment or as a bribe for a promotion or reward. What KL did is just distasteful,crass and an intimidation coming from a false sense of being in control but the girls could have easily walked away thus removing the “control.” He has a mental issue and should address it. His case is not as bad as Jack N.
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Rock music is about blatant sex, orgies and the occult. Watch the music videos.
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This is the best layman language narrative.
In short, if a person likes you, whatever you said is ok.
If a person don’t likes you, whatever you said will be taken as offending.
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Temasek-backed Vertex invests in cryptocurrency exchange Binance
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-singapore-cryptocurrency-binance-idUSKCN1MX0B2/
Binance’s Zhao pleads guilty, steps down to settle US illicit finance probe
https://www.reuters.com/markets/us/us-authorities-set-unveil-settlement-with-binance-source-2023-11-21/
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A man tells his girl friend that he wants to have a 3-some. He gets a slap.
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Unfortunately, the world judge people according to how they look. Superficial and shallow.
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Moral of the story. Power should not be concentrated in the hands of any individual or a select group. Dangers of abuse.
No one is infallible.
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Good looking people are treated better. Even though we all know it is bad to treat bad lookers with disrespect.
The white people know this. So their children’s teeth are wired. That way they don’t get made fun of for having buck teeth.
And plastic surgery is a thriving lucrative business.
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@Criminals
If you are on the beach in Pattaya, sometimes ladies will approach you to have sex so are you saying this is criminal? The choice is yours to make. Either say no and walk away or have a One Night Stand. It becomes criminal only if you are forced.
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You have zero sense of location.
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