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Marriage, children and practical concerns

A couple bows before their parents and offers them tea, as is traditional in Chinese weddings.

I refer to The Straits Times’ Editorial “Marriage, children and practical concerns” (Feb 5).

Since the history of human civilisation, the formation of individual family and the issue of procreation have become two of the most significant missions of personal life objectives.

Foremost, let us briefly sum up the fundamental purposes of marriage: companionship, procreation, enjoyment, sexual intimacy, protection and completeness which in an extent affect an individual’s lifestyle, thinking, mindset and perceived as a fulfilled life.

Since ancient times, the Eastern and Western cultures have always attached great importance to marriage and family formation.

However, in the past two decades, people's scrutiny and emphasis on marriage have changed greatly.

Many people think that marriage is just convening a marriage contract, and it restricts each other's freedom, time and personal development space in many aspects. Therefore, they strive to seek breakthroughs in ideas, thinking, styles and moral’s restraint.

For example, some people choose to remain single. They think that as long as they can achieve financial independence, they will have personal time and space to fulfill their hobbies, interests and another career after retirement. They feel that how free they are, without restraint. Thus, there are more and more young people who have this idea. Undeniably, Singapore is situated at the intersection and deeply influenced by the Eastern and Western cultures, so it is inevitably affected by this trend.

There’s also a small number of people who engage in LGBT (Abbreviation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) activities and same sex marriage.

This group of people believe that there is nothing wrong with breaking through the traditional ideological framework of sex and love, and this trend seems to have become popular and prevalent in many big cities. This is inevitably an incredible and unacceptable challenge to most people who adhere to traditional family and moral concepts.

Anyway, in our highly competitive and stressful cosmopolitan society, our young people have to ensure that their rice bowl of individual career is constantly stable or secured after their university graduation prior to thinking of whether to have a family.

In addition to this, they also have to carefully weigh in all the predictable and unexpected pros and cons.

These include the individual family’s financial ability or situation, the couple’s physical and mental health as well as their emotional preparedness or readiness for raising their expectant children, the motivated incentives provided by the government for the advocacy, encouraging and promoting the campaign of procreation.

Last but not least, our newly-wed couples have also seriously reckoned with whether the pro-family work culture being actively supported and engaged by most of our employers in Singapore? As this is also one of the practical concerns for considering procreation.

 

Teo Kueh Liang (Mr)

 

yyy
READER COMMENTS BELOW

34 Responses to “Marriage, children and practical concerns”

  • What do you mean?:

    “Last but not least, our newly-wed couples have also seriously reckoned with whether the pro-family work culture being actively supported and engaged by most of our employers in Singapore? ”

    Come on, don’t be so sloppy.

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  • Mayilavosky:

    During a short stay in one of the Nordic countries, was once told that the young people there no longer interested in getting married. Most were preferred cohabitation and 80% of the new born children were the result of cohabitation.

    Looking back home, if a married couple were to go separate ways, the damage to their lives would be tremendous.

    Guess it is high time to take a serious look at women chapter, means to lessen the impact of divorce should be seriously considered. If nothing is done, more and more young people would prefer to stay single.

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  • dodo:

    Why did you bypass the cost of living when the problem is so big?

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  • Singaporean R Free Rider:

    What do you mean?:
    “Last but not least, our newly-wed couples have also seriously reckoned with whether the pro-family work culture being actively supported and engaged by most of our employers in Singapore? ”

    Come on, don’t be so sloppy.

    what he meant is Either you are with us or against us.

    And today Anthony Blinken said it too but he sugar coated it as:
    “If you are not with us at the table, you are on the menu”
    https://www.reddit.com/r/Sino/comments/1avgeco/us_secretary_of_state_blinken_if_youre_not_at_the/

    In short, it is I eat you because I am strong and if you are weak you are on the menu for me to eat.

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  • Red Dot:

    SG is NOT a favourable place for married couples to procreate because of high COL crisis & unstable job market forcing them to be cautious in having babies!

    WHAT WILL SG BECOME IF THE TFR CONTINUE ITS DECLINE?

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  • rice:

    Seriously,do people think that POPULATION-AUGMENTING FT POLICY especially its errant implementation helps in TFR among young couples?

    Tell you what, the way sgs continue to have their livelihoods robbed by fake FTs ,with the aid of erratic and errant govt policy practices,the TFR WILL CONTINUE TO FALTER together with “faltering” sgs.
    All thanks to the G.

    Lets be sincere and HONEST.
    Lets conduct honest surveys to gather statistics of high integrity to determine if the errant FT POLICY has contributed directly or indirectly to falling TFR.

    My 2 cents’ take is YES!
    Anyone wanna bet ?

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  • Singaporean R Free Rider:

    dodo:
    Why did you bypass the cost of living when the problem is so big?

    High cost of living is a lie told by Opposition.

    Opposition has no integrity. They will cheat and lie to gain support.

    Thanks to our great PAP government who could see through the lies of pro-demoncratic activist.

    Leong Mun Wai steps down as Progress Singapore Party secretary-general following recent POFMA order
    https://sg.yahoo.com/news/leong-mun-wai-steps-down-progress-singapore-party-secretary-general-pofma-130843148.html

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  • Coupon not Financial lah:

    Leong had “falsely” claimed that the couple received only a Home Caregiving Grant and do not receive any other form of financial assistance from public sector agencies for their daily expenses.

    Gov claim the couple have been receiving monthly financial assistance in the form of NTUC vouchers from the People’s Association from February 2022, as well as utilities vouchers from the Community Development Council from March 2022. They also receive S$300 in cash each month from a temple.

    1. $300 cash from temple is not fro “public sector agencies.”
    2. Vouchers are not “financial aids”. They are food aid or utility aid.

    The gov is wrong. It should pofma itself.

    Leong is right. He should defend himself.

    Tio Bo? Tio Boh? Dio Boh?

    Singaporean R Free Rider:

    Leong Mun Wai steps down as Progress Singapore Party secretary-general following recent POFMA order
    https://sg.yahoo.com/news/leong-mun-wai-steps-down-progress-singapore-party-secretary-general-pofma-130843148.html

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  • @Coupon not Financial lah

    In Sinkieland so funny one, bonk mistress must step down, make honest mistake ownself kick ownself also step down, wonder if farting in public is want step down bo?

    Oppos are so busy ownself screw ownself, so hilarious!

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  • Singaporean R Free Rider:

    Coupon not Financial lah:
    Leong had “falsely” claimed that the couple received only a Home Caregiving Grant and do not receive any other form of financial assistance from public sector agencies for their daily expenses.

    Gov claim the couple have been receiving monthly financial assistance in the form of NTUC vouchers from the People’s Association from February 2022, as well as utilities vouchers from the Community Development Council from March 2022. They also receive S$300 in cash each month from a temple.

    1. $300 cash from temple is not fro “public sector agencies.”
    2. Vouchers are not “financial aids”. They are food aid or utility aid.

    The gov is wrong. It should pofma itself.

    Leong is right. He should defend himself.

    Tio Bo? Tio Boh? Dio Boh?

    I have kept your post.

    This is a clear case of Opposition trying to play with words.

    Financial aids come in many form, it can be cash, coupon, food or service.

    One VWO I work with issue bus stamp, school canteen food coupon and provide tuition to low income student. Is this not financial aids ?

    Must financial aids be in cash so that irresponsible parents get to abuse it? (drink beer or call chicken)

    And $300 from temple is from public sector agencies because land authority charge very low low land fees for temple/religion usage.

    I volunteer with Kwan Wai Shiu hospital before and was told that the hospital pay very very low low low fees for the large piece of land use.

    Rightfully the narrative should be $300 from temple who got it from land authority in the form of rebate and discount.

    You and Leong and Opposition should be charged for spreading fake news to incite violence against our great PAP government.

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  • dodo:

    Someone claimed that each local got 23.5k, anyone got the amount or not. Just because she slept with the boss direct report, she is immune to pofma already.

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  • dodo:

    If there is no cost of living issue, the govt would have pofma many people already, no reason to diam diam when people talk about it. Try asking non oppositions if cost of living is an issue but make sure you don’t ask those living in GCBs.

    Singaporean R Free Rider: High cost of living is a lie told by Opposition.

    Opposition has no integrity. They will cheat and lie to gain support.

    Thanks to our great PAP government who could see through the lies of pro-demoncratic activist.

    Leong Mun Wai steps down as Progress Singapore Party secretary-general following recent POFMA order
    https://sg.yahoo.com/news/leong-mun-wai-steps-down-progress-singapore-party-secretary-general-pofma-130843148.html

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  • Jokers:

    Pappies. Desperate. A coupon for sex is also a financial aid. No need coupon. An agreement for sex is also a financial aid.

    hahaha.

    Singaporean R Free Rider: Financial aids come in many form, it can be cash, coupon, food or service.

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  • Singaporean R Free Rider:

    Jokers:
    Pappies. Desperate. A coupon for sex is also a financial aid. No need coupon. An agreement for sex is also a financial aid.

    hahaha.

    Yes. A coupon for sex is also a financial aid.

    You can apply for it and see if any honorable charity organisation will give it to you.

    I have kept your post.
    People like you is the reason why VWO has to investigate your background before dispensing aid least the aid was abused.

    You have shown that Oppositions are the lowest and meanest form of lives on earth. Screw around then let society foot the bill. Never take responsibility.
    https://shorturl.asia/RKE9q

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  • Singaporean R Free Rider:

    dodo:
    If there is no cost of living issue, the govt would have pofma many people already, no reason to diam diam when people talk about it. Try asking non oppositions if cost of living is an issue but make sure you don’t ask those living in GCBs.

    I had already asked.

    Last time there is a fellow forummer here penyu, who recommend Tech to try urine therapy, also said that the COL in SG is manageable.

    He, Penyu, said that if one were to cook yourselves and avoid eating out, COL is ok.

    The people who kpkb about high COL are those who want to eat in air con food court and restaurant.

    Their attitude is like Finland PM. Period.

    Finland’s prime minister dancing wildly spark international controversy
    https://shorturl.asia/jFCug

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  • Jokers:

    Now we know some of your type also enjoy “financial aids” from one another.

    Singaporean R Free Rider: Jokers:
    Pappies. Desperate. A coupon for sex is also a financial aid. No need coupon. An agreement for sex is also a financial aid.

    hahaha.

    Yes. A coupon for sex is also a financial aid.

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  • dodo:

    You have to ask what is his salary and committments. You cannot take 1 observation and conclude without understanding his background.

    Singaporean R Free Rider: I had already asked.

    Last time there is a fellow forummer here penyu, who recommend Tech to try urine therapy, also said that the COL in SG is manageable.

    He, Penyu, said that if one were to cook yourselves and avoid eating out, COL is ok.

    The people who kpkb about high COL are those who want to eat in air con food court and restaurant.

    Their attitude is like Finland PM. Period.

    Finland’s prime minister dancing wildly spark international controversy
    https://shorturl.asia/jFCug

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  • Relax:

    I thought temples are paying market rates for land lease?

    According to the news below (I tried to translate as much as I can), it basically said the land price increased almost 10 times in 30 years.
    One temple said land rental in 1970 was less than $10k, in 1981 it spent $68k to rent 8000sqft land at Eunos to build temple. In 2011, it spent $460k to renew 30 years lease, but including admin fees and gst etc., it was almost $600k.

    Another temple said it was given a short notice to renew 20 years lease and the cost was $1.63m, this meant it had only 3 months to raise funds. The concern was that not all temples are rich, or can afford to take out $1m in 3 months time, thus sufficient time is needed. And because temples paid land lease based on market rates, thus it was a pressure because they might not able to carry on if they can’t afford.

    “中新网12月9日电 据新加坡《联合早报》报道,在寸土如金的新加坡,很多华人庙宇面对地租飙升的压力。虽然庙宇用地的价格在30年时间翻了数倍至数十倍不等,至今已有21座庙宇顺利更新了土地租约。
    。。。。。。。。

      地租30年来涨幅惊人
    。。。。。。。。。

      聚天宫总务黄玉海翻查记录后透露,伍合庙在2000年向建屋局要求多30年土地租约,当时须缴付近70万元(包括消费税),各庙都须分摊14万元。

      他说,1970年建伍合庙时,建筑费和租契加起来不过14万5000元,当时新加坡刚进入发展初期,伍合庙又是本地首座联合庙,租契还不到1万元。

      1981年以6万8000元向建屋局租用友诺士5路一块8000平方英尺地段盖庙的芽笼联合宫,2011年时以46万余元更新30年土地租约,加上消费税和各种手续费,庙宇理事会当时得筹60余万元。

      30年过去了,这块位于友诺士工业区的庙宇地皮价值翻了近七倍。芽笼联合宫理事会主席连淑娟说,联合宫是由芽笼29巷的龙山亭、芽笼27巷的福德宫和芽笼25巷的乾坤庙联合组成,这三座庙宇所在地于上世纪70年代末被政府征用建造组屋。

      道总吁请当局提早告知地租款额

      占地约3万多平方英尺的韭菜芭城隍庙,30年前也因土地被征用而与凤玄宫联合在巴耶利峇盖新庙。该庙总务陈添来说,该庙的租契明年1月30日到期,但只能多延20年。他们一直到今年10月,才知道要延长20年租契须缴163万元,这意味着他们只有三个月时间筹募这笔钱。

      陈添来说,基于未来发展理由,建屋局原本只准延长五年租约,后来同意租约延长20年。

      也是新加坡道教总会会长的陈添来,吁请有关当局最好能在租约到期前一两年便让庙宇负责人知道所须缴付的数额,以便有充裕时间筹款。

      他说:“不是每座庙都有钱,或有能力在三个月内拿出100多万元。大家都需要时间筹钱,早一点知道,至少心里有个底。”他表示庙宇须按市价缴付土地费用,对很多庙宇造成不小压力,深恐支付不了而办不下去 。。。。。。”

     

      

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  • Jokers:

    Thank you. Free Riders lied about cheap rent.
    It is desperation and despicable to count a private temple as a public service agent.

    Relax: I thought temples are paying market rates for land lease?

    According to the news below (I tried to translate as much as I can), it basically said the land price increased almost 10 times in 30 years.
    One temple said land rental in 1970 was less than $10k, in 1981 it spent $68k to rent 8000sqft land at Eunos to build temple. In 2011, it spent $460k to renew 30 years lease, but including admin fees and gst etc., it was almost $600k.

    Another temple said it was given a short notice to renew 20 years lease and the cost was $1.63m, this meant it had only 3 months to raise funds. The concern was that not all temples are rich, or can afford to take out $1m in 3 months time, thus sufficient time is needed. And because temples paid land lease based on market rates, thus it was a pressure because they might not able to carry on if they can’t afford.

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  • Singaporeans R Free Riders:

    We all knew that Opposition like to quote things out of context and Jokers have proven it. Never trust what the Opposition said.

    Jokers: Now we know some of your type also enjoy “financial aids” from one another.

    strong>Singaporean R Free Rider: Yes. A coupon for sex is also a financial aid.

    You can apply for it and see if any honorable charity organisation will give it to you.

    I have kept your post.
    People like you is the reason why VWO has to investigate your background before dispensing aid least the aid was abused.

    You have shown that Oppositions are the lowest and meanest form of lives on earth. Screw around then let society foot the bill. Never take responsibility.
    https://shorturl.asia/RKE9q

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  • Singaporeans R Free Riders:

    This proven that religion is profit driven and is just another get rich quick scheme.
    https://shorturl.at/elFIT

    Since you are seeking profit, you pay market rate.

    Fair. You can’t have your cakes and eat it.

    Relax: I thought temples are paying market rates for land lease?

    According to the news below (I tried to translate as much as I can), it basically said the land price increased almost 10 times in 30 years.
    One temple said land rental in 1970 was less than $10k, in 1981 it spent $68k to rent 8000sqft land at Eunos to build temple. In 2011, it spent $460k to renew 30 years lease, but including admin fees and gst etc., it was almost $600k.

    Another temple said it was given a short notice to renew 20 years lease and the cost was $1.63m, this meant it had only 3 months to raise funds. The concern was that not all temples are rich, or can afford to take out $1m in 3 months time, thus sufficient time is needed. And because temples paid land lease based on market rates, thus it was a pressure because they might not able to carry on if they can’t afford.

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  • Jokers:

    When you are caught lying, just admit it.

    Just answer this question: Did you lie about cheap temple rent?

    Singaporeans R Free Riders: Fair. You can’t have your cakes and eat it.

    Jokers: Thank you. Free Riders lied about cheap rent.
    It is desperation and despicable to count a private temple as a public service agent.

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  • Putin Says:

    The president admitted that Russia, like many other countries, is faced with a decline in birth rates and suggested that all levels of government, civil society, and pastors of traditional religions should work together to make large families with many children the social norm, the philosophy of social life and a guideline of the state strategy.

    Make large families with many children the social norm.

    In sharp contrast, Sg leaders emphasized “sex in small space.” They don’t even consider space for children.

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  • @Relax

    It is common knowledge that religious groups and cult groups make a lot of money, probably because most of their members are veyr trusting towards someone supposedly from God.

    For starters, look at the Kong Hee Fa choy church to the HTD cult in Sinkieland, they were never short of funds as and when they ask for it.

    These are the mentality of most peasants like us.

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  • Relax:

    @TRE Tech

    Basically the establishment of religious groups is to propagate their teachings and also promote charity, so there’s nothing wrong if people donate money willingly with their own purpose in mind. Just like President’s Challenge, who initiated it? who are the donors?

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  • Relax:

    @”This proven that religion is profit driven and is just another get rich quick scheme.
    https://shorturl.at/elFIT

    Since you are seeking profit, you pay market rate.

    Fair. You can’t have your cakes and eat it.”

    Response: this video is from Taiwan, I am not Taiwanese, no comment.

    Non profit organisations also need profits to ensure efficient operation and healthy cashflow, just like non profit hospitals.

    Not sure you heard this phrase before:”you sell roti prata one huh, flip here flip there”.

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  • PAP mandate strong:

    https://wap.eastmoney.com/a/202401042951696828.html

    S Korea TFR yet lowest.
    发280万亿韩元鼓励生育难见效

    So is HK Taiwan Sg Japan China.

    Its a challenging issue.

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  • rice:

    Family as a basic Social Unit can never be enhanced by any form of carrot-dangling$.
    Family values are affected by how our Gahmen treat our citizens.
    The PM’s role is that of a caring BIG BROTHER.
    If sgs see that the G doesn’t truly care,sgs will “react” accordingly.
    Our socio-economic policies must be conducive for family-building and bonding.
    If even the elderly grannies and grandpas need to keep “working till drop dead”,who will be there for the kiddos?
    In the past,when our parents went out to make a living,our grand-parents helped ensure the smooth-running at home.

    That was important to inculcate good values,etc.
    These days,kids order their maids like little princes and princesses.
    They grow up with no sense of social/familial responsibility.
    They grow up based on “ME,MYSELF AND I” mindset.
    This is not helpful as it breeds SELF-CENTRED AND SELFISH AND ARROGANT young adults subsequently.
    There is a FALSE SENSE OF MERITOCRACY being imparted.

    Our PUBLIC POLICIES NEED A THOROUGH REVIEW AND REVAMP.
    Else,things will only become worse and worse.

    The gahmen must take the lead by setting good examples.
    WALK THE TALK.
    STOP TALK THE WALK NOW!

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  • Joker:

    Gov’s strong sheep always pick the worse for comparison.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_total_fertility_rate

    Switzerland 1.5
    Where’s Goh? Swiss standard has high f. rate.

    Denmark 1.7
    Indonesia 2.1
    France 1.8

    What excuse can these people come up with?

    PAP mandate strong:
    https://wap.eastmoney.com/a/202401042951696828.html

    S Korea TFR yet lowest.
    发280万亿韩元鼓励生育难见效

    So is HK Taiwan Sg Japan China.

    Its a challenging issue.

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  • rice:

    Dr Goh Keng Swee did not just contribute to building SAF.
    Even when he was Defence Minister,he started a “hokkien” unit as he noticed many soldiers could not speak nor understand english.

    In many areas,from education to economics to social welfare,Dr Goh had keen eyes and made it his vocation to set things right for the benefit of sgs.

    I think we should have A Dr Goh Keng Swee Institute of Socio-economic Studies in honour of him.

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  • SINGAROAR:

    If you live in Singapore, love your unborn child and keep him or her unborn. This is not a place for raising children as the population increase will continue and the congestion will become unbearable.

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  • rice:

    To my simple mind as an ordinary old,or rather elderly sg uncle,I think that the PAP’s ardent promotion of TAYLOR’S SWIFTOLOGY among our young sgs totally CONTRADICTS the same gahmen’s PROMOTION OF FAMILY LIFE.

    Go listen to those $wiftian mu$ic or “NOI$E”.
    What is Taylor swiftly promoting?
    Family values?
    Good marriages?
    Child-bearing?

    Even MINISTER/S CAN BE DAFT.
    LKY was right.
    Sgs are mostly daft.

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  • PAP mandate strong:

    Taylor Swift ? Ok ya. Basically biz, entertainment, tourism, marketing advertising.

    HK also try with Messi , unfortunately end up not so good.

    Promote family values, good marriages, child bearing. Then either its church especially catholics or mosque.

    Catholics and muslims against abortion and ( i heard only not so sure ) against contraception. Young generation may change ?

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  • Singleporeans, Mingleporeans:

    Nowadays, young Singaporeans do mingle but prefer to stay single due to high cost of wedding. It’s the out-of-reach dowry culture and elaborate wedding traditions that hinder all marriageable singles from tying the knot. A stumbling block, indeed.

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