Be respectful when giving your views

I have often seen people giving their views out of ignorance. They do not understand the subject well. They have gained some knowledge about the subject by reading the views of other people, but their understanding is limited.

They challenge the views of other people who are usually more knowledgeable about the subject.

Here are some tips to avoid acting in what may appear to be an arrogant manner.

a) Read the views of the other person carefully and understand their facts which molded their view

b) Weigh the difference of views carefully.

c) Express your views in a respectful manner. Give your view and its reasons. Do not be arrogant and assume that you are right and they are wrong.

d) Be balanced. Express where you agree and where you do not agree. This will show you to be a more balanced and sensible person. Do not give the impression of being negative.

e) Read more widely from people who hold different views and make a balanced judgement.

I hope that these tips will help you to make a better contribution to the discussion of any subject.

 
 
Tan Kin Lian

 

 

 

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20 Responses to “Be respectful when giving your views”

  • trublu:

    Ya,dont be biased or wishy-washy.
    If you think you are better or more qualified than your audience,it is probably you do not fully understand what you are saying yourself.

    Hope that helps?

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  • ??:

    Mr Tan, thanks for your tips.

    But people will be headless on what you are talking about without giving proper examples.

    I’m now asking if I’m one of them whom you are quoting.

    How to learn from mistakes without giving examples to understand the context of your assertions ?

    Your feedback is half-baked. Cannot makan la.

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  • be kind to each other:

    i agree with mr tkl.
    ..what is given in good faith should be taken graciously..
    dont shoot the messenger.
    if u dont agree just contribute your ideas or debate intelligently..
    i guess sgs are still not so cultured even tho may be educated to the hilt academically…
    theres a difference.

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  • NotMyProblem:

    @TRE; is Mr. Tan one of your moderators? Since when?

    Tech: Not that I am aware of.

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  • Errr, excuse me please....:

    “Whenever I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think about it – always.”

    ― Mahatma Gandhi

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  • uselesstankinl:

    A lit of ppl including me ,

    is very mad with what you done as some ceo of
    Income.

    very very mad !!!

    with your “Screw up”

    WITH OUR $$$

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  • Learn from one another:

    We can learn from one another.No one know it all.
    Have been blessed with so many contacts whose insight and sharing has been very enlightening.
    Still learning from all walks of life…Thank you friends…

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  • MarBowling:

    Like Lee Kayu, the Sage has spoken the Words of Wisdom.

    Like Simon ALWAYS say: THINK! THINK 10 Times before you want to say or express anything in TRE! Express your view in a RESPECTFUL and BALANCED Manner. Better to send your views to Tan Golden Chain for Vetting bf posting. THINK AGAIN.

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  • NotMyProblem:

    NotMyProblem:
    @TRE; is Mr. Tan one of your moderators? Since when?

    Tech: Not that I am aware of.

    @TRE; thank.

    Since GE Pandemic is coming, it is anticipated TRE will be very busy with the increase in articles/comments, would you need Mr. Tan’s assistance?

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  • Bernard Tan:

    Dear Kin Lian,

    You are one of the spoiler with Tan JJ during the Presidential election.
    Change was almost certain at the highest office until you and TJJ screwed it up.
    You garnered such a small single digit support, what have you to say?
    You disgrace the Tan clan.

    Please shut up, enjoy your greed and beholden days with PAP.
    Honestly, I doubt your honesty & integrity.

    Did you ask why only Great Eastern and NTUC were given the Medisave insurance policy to manage?
    Why force and no choice to/for the Citizens. I’m sure, you are aware of the many over subscribed medical scheme/policy by the PAP government. Lots of CPF members Medisave funds were taken out annually and “cheated” due to multiple insurance plans with only a single claim. Don’t say you don’t know.

    Are you willing to raise this issue up with/to the relevant authorities and agencies in order to claim back our forced and robbed annual CPF medical premium paid over the years? Was there due deligent done by CPF and the two insurance companies to ensure no multiple insurances subscribed where, only a single claim is possible? I’m sure, you know what I meant.

    Unless, you start to channel your energy to right the wrong, don’t try to be a bootlicker and/or balls carrier to the useless scumbags incumbents.

    You were enjoying the big big big bonuses when, you were the CEO right. Please do correct me if I’m wrong.
    Care to share, how much you were paid and given in bonuses and more……..

    If I’m wrong on your past job and patriotism, my Sincere apologies.
    Looking and reading at your inputs and comments on and for you, I strongly suggest you support Dr Tan Cheng Bock.

    Please don’t “Sia Suay” the Tan clan.

    Thank you.

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  • Rudey:

    TKL, I know people can be really rude to you.

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  • oxygen:

    MR. TAN KL, you came to this debating platform as a former CEO and a Presidential aspirant, readers here expect a certain standard of depth insightful thought contribution from you if you participate as contributor of any subject keynote thoughts.

    Disappointed, they will be quick to supply the “respect” of your “assessed stature” by giving you their “full and frank” feedback.

    This protest note speaks poorly of your self-admiration, you presumed that those who disagree with you either ignorant and/or pandering to shallow thoughts publishing when it is YOU who wrote the content of subject-matter in question.

    Ask yourself this simple truthful question, who can see himself/herself clearly WHEN EVERYONE NEEDS A MIRROR TO GROOM HIMSELF/HERSELF?

    Not everything you wrote will be debated by every readers. Some topical areas might find a lot more deeper and experienced thoughts undercut you. What is wrong when disagreeing readers want to upgrade the intensity of thoughts presented (fortunately or unfortunately) of your writing?

    No bigger respects (if this is what irks you if it is presumed missing) is accorded to you by silence and letting you make a bigger fool of yourself.

    If you are outstanding, the SILENT MAJORITY will know it as well. Why bother with naysayers lobbing a tomato in your direction without physically hurting you???

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  • Great Asia:

    You’ll lose if you take other people’s comments too seriously.

    Ha ha ha!

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  • Realistically:

    @ Tan Kin Lian

    “They challenge the views of other people who are usually more knowledgeable about the subject.”

    U know more about COVID-19 virus to claim that MOH was copying YOUR idea to do more testing, when thie is SOP of every specialists in virus control? Your skin must be thicker than a rhino’s hide…….eh you got no shame or wat?

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  • Talking to the mirror?:

    I suspect Mr Tan was talking to the mirror.

    If a comment has to say where it agrees and where it disagrees and support with facts and references, the comment will be longer than the original post. The TRE techie will have a very hard time.

    It is good that a comment just highlight one or two points, and be very precise and concise.

    Tech: NO worry, techie only mod ad hoc, mods do most of the work.

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  • oxygen:

    @ Mr. Tan KL

    SOME OF YOUR PROPOSITIONAL POSITIONS you wrote are highly CONTROVERSIAL, it will necessary attracts sharp contrasting views in disagreement.

    Here is one.

    Protect the elderly people from the virus

    http://www.tremeritus.net/2020/05/11/protect-the-elderly-people-from-the-virus/

    You advocated herd immunity route – claiming it is harmless. Read the readers’ comments of Swedish experience and sudden turnaround after massive escalation of death among its elderly.

    You want to infect the young so that they go home to infect their elderly and kill them too? Is this harmless of your fervent advocacy?

    I have compelling apprehension that a large section of the public mind will think this is coprophagia logic – a stupid puppy eating its own sh*t. It is incomprehensible.

    AT LEAST 99% of TRE readers of this herd immunity article of you STAYS SILENT. They gave you “respect” you apparently longed for. But a few won’t let it – they, including me, want some vigor and intensity of thoughts exchange in a respectable debate platform as TRE, so we CHALLENGE – NOTHING PERSONAL.

    If you wrote in your private FB page, those who disagree with your controversial thoughts won’t visit OR YOU CAN DELETE THEIR CRITICISMS AS YOU PLEASES. IT IS YOUR STAGE, YOUR PARTY AND YOUR SUPREMACY OF OVER-RIDE.

    YOU CAN EVEN BAN THEM FROM VISITING – that is your privileged right.

    BUT HERE IN TRE, rules of wrestling debate has to allow contesting views – as vigorous as your proposition or muted of pleading in counter propositions

    And what have you done in this page of protest publishing in TRE?

    YOU ARE TELLING ALL READERS, and yes, all TRE readers, “HOW TO” DISAGREE WITH YOU, BUT NOBODY TELLS YOU HOW TO WRITE YOUR CONTENTS OF THOUGHTS – however sensitive, coprophagia the contents might splash the TRE page.

    Is this behavior akin to tantrum throwing acceptable to you?

    Someone accustomed to giving you a “full and frank” feedback might ask you these uncomfortable questions

    - are you kidding, throwing tantrum in public denied of your sweets?

    - are you a 5-yr old waiting for your 6th birthday?

    THIS IS A SERIOUS PUBLIC FORUM PLATFORM – NOT YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE, PLEASE PLEASE AND PLEASE AGAIN.

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  • oxygen:

    @ Mr. Tan KL

    GOT ONE GENTLE OR NOT-SO-GENTLE SUGGESTION for you, write whatever controversial thoughts precious to your mind as you may please of your satisfaction but ditch that sensitivity to rebuttals – BE THAT IN YOUR OWN FB OR TRE or any other forum platforms welcoming of your contributions.

    Why?

    A protest like this page publishing reveals TOO MUCH about your weakling. As a fprmer CEO in a big organisation, the public mind has a read of your “assessed stature” as one with rigorous and extensive experiences- very valuable to receive your insight of world views on any subject.

    CEOs and former CEOs don’t walk around with soft kidneys of sensitivity. They take a punch, roll over and get up to fight the next day – or at least I think that is the tough materials I would imagine of one.

    In real(not reel movie-like) life, CEOs to my knowledge are accustomed to banging tables (sometimes) in angry boardroom or they are on receiving end of boardroom pressure demands too. Not all boardroom tussle is gentle and ass-kissing of transactional exchange.

    Even in Sydney, someone brought a loaded gun into a boardroom in daylight and got his “win”, the losers walked out. Such is the real (not movie-like reel) world business.

    WEAKLINGS AND SOFTIES DON’T SURVIVE THE JUNGLE WORLD EVEN IN BIG CORPORATE BUSINESS as this Australian listed mining entity found out.

    Read this comments in the Sydney Morning Herald publishing – its contents not challenged by anyone, including former CEOs, lawyers and feuding shareholders.

    “Mr Willis had long claimed he was forced to sign away his stake in the venture under duress by a room full of armed Indonesian thugs. Intrepid, formerly called Emperor Gold, had long denied it. The matter is before a court in Jakarta.

    And now, in this most extraordinary story of corporate intrigue, an email has surfaced from Intrepid’s legal counsel Ms Chidrawi to chief executive Gordon and Maya Ambarsari and Reza Nazaruddin in 2008 supporting Mr Willis’ dramatic allegation that Intrepid conspired with Maya and Reza to force him out of the project”

    Explosive email rocks Java gold mine fight

    https://www.smh.com.au/business/explosive-email-rocks-java-gold-mine-fight-20130317-2g8uf.html

    CEOs with soft kidney or sensitivity won’t achieve anything under the slightest pressure – forget the thugs.

    WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD, MR. TAN KL.

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  • patriot of TUMASIK:

    Tan Ahhhh!!!! you Blink your Blooming eyes in the Advert for NTUC and that includes your stupid looks…You Hi5 your way to be a SPOILER in the Presidential Election and losing your Deposit along the WAY!!!

    There is a Chinese or dialect saying for you if I may say so…”Cheng Chee Pa Buay JIB”…and may I add an Indonesian Medan friend who told me in Hokkien but translated as QUOTE:

    “There are some people when you spit at their Faces they Do Not wipe it OFF, they allow the Wind to naturally DRY it” unquote

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  • John Lim:

    TKL, can you give a specific instance disrespectful comments?

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  • Soccerbetting2:

    Stated above by Kenneth Jeyaretnam :Quote – “..There could be no better illustration of the fact that the PAP policy of depriving its citizens for decades of a decent standard of living for the sake of “saving for a rainy day” (if the Government is indeed saving and not squandering under the inept guardianship of the PM and his wife) is intellectually as well as morally bankrupt..”Unquote.

    Response : On top of the Harbourfront mrt mall,is a huge expensive public funded library space,with the most modern newest book collection,an automated book self
    return conveyor system,computers to read news.Why the government need to setup a library system inside a mall that is so expensive for public to foot rental unnecessary? And Indranee Rajah is second Minister for finance if I am not wrong, should have objected to such expensive library system in mall in the first place! These type of shameless beast Indranee Rajah spend public money like water setting up a whole library to be run by the shameless women behind.Cannot setup a library in cheaper HDB void area meh? I have been to that Harbour front library a couple of days just before circuit breaker started.And I was looking at a ridiculous automated painter system designed for the handicapped for painting.I saw that video there that show a handicapped woman who basically can move her neck trying to paint but difficult.So the library get that auto painting machine for her to paint. Using that auto painter machine,so she sit on a wheelchair holding a brush in her mouth to paint.The painting paper was secured vertically for her by machine.And the machine auto move the paper using small motor horizontally and vertically to right position to paint,and the right color paint will drop onto another waste paper, rotated for her to pick up paint with her brush using her mouth.After that, handicapped woman easily paint a picture she wants.That was not a complicated auto paint machine but definitely not a cheap one. Indranee Rajah should answer how much that machine cost,check whether overpriced machine or not? Is anybody profiteering from such unnecessary machine in the library?And probably just use one or twice for this handicapped woman, that auto paint system is then left as an exhibit nowadays at that library. What an unnecessary expenditure by the shameless library woman board to build a machine to use it to please a handicapped woman! I am sure the money will be better use to send this handicapped woman for a few happy tour trips to USA, to England or whatever rather than build a machine to assist her to paint once or twice! Such dumb expenditure of public funds! And the most shameless thing is after I carefully observed that auto painter machine, obviously the camera in library captured my observation and the next day, it so coincidentally that I could not find that auto painter machine in Harbour front library even though I walk round the place to search for it! Scared I complain?

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