TR EMERITUS

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties..and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with ... and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK....and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want ... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.   John Doe  Read More →

Utusan Malaysia, 23 June 2010 Lawatan kerja sehari Perdana Menteri Singapura, Lee Hsien Loong ke negara ini semalam amat dinanti-nantikan oleh penduduk kedua-dua buah negara. Ia dianggap penting setelah beberapa isu legasi berjaya diselesaikan semasa kunjungan rakan sejawatnya, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak ke republik itu pada bulan lalu. Kedatangan Hsien Loong kali ini disifatkan sebagai membuka lembaran baru hubungan kedua-dua negara ekoran daripada kejayaan menyelesaikan isu berkenaan. Apatah lagi kunjungan itu khusus untuk membincangkan susulan berhubung pelaksanaan perkara-perkara yang dipersetujui (POA) berkaitan tanah milik Keretapi Tanah Melayu (KTMB) di republik itu. Ia juga merupakan satu lagi fasa mencari penyelesaian dalam menangani isu-isu tertangguh terutamanya 10 perkara yang terkandung dalam POA yang ditandatangani pada 27 November 1990. Hasilnya dalam mesyuarat dua hala itu, Malaysia dan Singapura sepakat mencapai keputusan muktamad mengenai tawaran pertukaran tanah membabitkan isu pelaksanaan butiran-butiran perjanjian tanah KTMB di republik itu dalam masa tiga bulan lagi.Grab a Celcom Blue Bear(TM) and stand to walk away with RM10,000!  Singapura telah mengemukakan cadangan yang khusus berhubung tawaran pertukaran tanah berkenaan untuk dipertimbangkan oleh Malaysia manakala Najib pula berharap dapat berkunjung ke Singapura dalam tempoh itu bagi memuktamadkan isu mengenainya. Hasil pertemuan antara Najib dengan Hsien Loong pada Mei lalu, beberapa isu yang selama ini menjadi sejarah gelap hubungan dua negara berjiran selama 20 tahun berjaya diselesaikan termasuk isu Stesen KTMB di Tanjong Pagar. Seperti mana yang dijanjikan, mesyuarat semalam turut mengesahkan bahawa bayaran tol di Link Kedua iaitu laluan jambatan 47 kilometer dari Tanjong Kupang ke Senai di Johor dan sebuah jambatan dua tingkat yang menghubungkan Tanjung Kupang di Johor dan Tuas di republik itu dikurangkan sebanyak 30 peratus bermula Ogos tahun ini. Ia sudah tentu memberi situasi menang-menang kepada kedua-dua negara. Ini kerana peningkatan penggunaan laluan alternatif itu akan mengurangkan kesesakan yang berlaku di Tambak Johor ketika ini. Kita sememangnya maklum bahawa semua isu legasi yang berbangkit antara Malaysia dan Singapura hanya akan berjaya diselesaikan secara berperingkat kerana ia tidak mampu ditangani dengan hanya sekali pertemuan. - Utusan Malaysia  Read More →

I refer to the new advertisement to promote filial piety – spearheaded by the National Family Council and supported by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports- that is currently showing on TV. Many may find the message is touching, and in many aspects, in line with the “Confucius ethics and values” that our leaders and media are trying to advocate. The advertisement is no doubt sent though the media in conjunction to the law passed which enforce the responsibility of children to take care of their parents. While I applaud such move by the relevant authorities, the message on filial piety is, with resemblance to our mainstream media, totally loop-sided and irresponsible. (Words I say; Action you do?) Filial piety can only be done when the populace is given the environment and circumstances to do so. With MM Lee’s adamant refusal to improve our GINI coefficient (The Straits Times - 20 Oct 2009), majority of Singaporeans are finding it harder and harder to provide for their homes, let alone their parents. This arguably may be the main reason on increase in cases where children would not, or cannot, take care of their parents. Singaporeans are repeatedly drawing the short end of the stick: higher income gap due to government plans, ever increasing living costs, and now laws to enforce filial piety. Instead of addressing the problem up front, a “cure-all first aid plaster” is used as rectification by shifting the responsibility on caring for populace, back to the populace. Tax money is spent ENFORCING populace family responsibility; not AIDING it. Sending the filial piety message through the media is simple as the action to do as said inevitably lies with the people. I am not encouraging financial aid, of which would go against MM Lee’s distain on breeding “crutch-mentality”. I am, however, saying that the Government should do its part too for the tax-paying citizens that it is tasked to protect. If a law can be drawn up to put responsibility on taking care of parents to children, then laws should also be drawn to protect these very children so that they can adequately provide for their parents. Laws include minimal wages, structural changes to reign in the GINI coefficient will indeed help majority of the population to provide for their parents, without the need for any rigid legalities. Any push factor should accompany a pull. (Confucius Values? Show 2 sides of the coin please) The often trumpeted “Confucius values” by the ministers in our country might be a good excuse to enforce the filial piety ruling onto the citizens. What is not shown and often neglected, however, is that Confucius ethics also involves Social Responsibility and Political Ethics. These areas are not only neglected, but never put into use, as shown in the Orchard Flood, the MRT train incident, the loss of billions of taxpayers’ money by the GICs, right up till the $6 billion surplus from GST increase, quote: “to help the poor”. The new law and the media barrage on filial piety are only once of the many band aids that is plastered on holes created by a bursting dam. Without dealing the root cause, the bursting flood of pent-up stress from the people may be more disastrous than what we had in Orchard.   Joe Ng  Read More →