TR EMERITUS

The Big News in the world of celebrity gossip is the fact that the American Actor, Al Pacino is set to become a father at 82. Age has definitely not slowed Mr. Pacino and the news of Mr. Pacino’s virility can be found here. While there were a few people tut-tutting Mr. Pacino for becoming a father at an age where most start treating every day a bonus, most of the men in the world were probably thankful that Mr. Pacino was virile at 82. Call a sign of hope that you still can at that age. Men have it lucky in that few people bat an eyelid when a much older man is seen with a much younger woman. If anything, the man gets patted on the back for getting a sweet young thing and the woman will be congratulated for getting an established man. Its slightly different the other way round. A woman who ends up with younger guy is regarded as predatory. Look at it this way, whatever one says of Donald Trump, most of us secretly respect him for getting Melania by his side. The same cannot be said for Emanuel Macron who married his French teacher and inherited kids who were the same age as him. Still, the fact remains, virility and being established attract each other. In the old days, it was understood that the man would be the established one and any respectable established man would have the most fertile looking woman around. However, as we enter an age where women with established careers are being normalized, we also need to accept that these women would be attracted to younger virile men. So, I guess you could say that age is just a number and if both parties care about each other, then who is to complain? Love and sexual attraction work in mysterious ways. I take my own experiences as an example. At the age of 19, I ended up in a relationship with a woman who was 12-years older and black. This was what you’d call the ultimate thrill for a guy who had just left a nearly all boy school in a world where Asian men don’t get attention for being “sexually powerful” unlike their Caucasian and Black counterparts. We did meet again much later on when I was 30 and she was 42. The attraction was still there but she wasn’t the goddess of my youth and I suspect that part of it was the fact that I was older and the things that mattered at 19, were less important at 30. If anything, I’d curious to know how we’d get on, now that I am 48 and she’s 60. One of the key points of this relationship was that it made my dad uncomfortable and the truth is, I was so infatuated with being in a relationship with a woman who gave me “street-cred,” that I could never appreciate his discomfort over my relationship. Then Kiddo happened to me. Ended up with a Vietnamese girl who came along with a 7-year-old. I had a bad first marriage and I vowed that I would never see marriage or kids, ever. Then, this 7-year-old came along and gave me the two happiest months of my life, where I understood what it was like to live for something other than myself. Immigration saw to it that the relationship would not last. Ended up in two relationships with single mothers. Ended up liking the kids far more than the mothers, though admittedly the mothers somehow managed to reenter my life minus their kids. When Huong asked me to marry her, the main focus was, now I had the chance to bring Kiddo to Singapore, where she could grow her life in a safe environment. So, life only really began when a now 12-year-old showed up and seemed to confirm that I had done something right. In the experience of having kiddo return to my life, my view on sexual attraction changed I noticed it in two incidences. One was when a 54-year-old former boyfriend of one of my nieces kept asking Kiddo for her phone number. She was 14 at the time and I was visibly upset. She tried to pacify me by saying the he had known her when he visited Vietnam and I had to say, “That’s not the point, he’s 54 and you’re 14.” The second incident involved meeting one of her school friends who was busty and slender. I actually had to remind myself that this was my daughter’s friend and therefore wrong. I am as red blooded as the next heterosexual man. I remain a sucker for the usual parts of the female body. At 48 I appreciate the female body as much as I did at 18. The change is that a woman 25-years younger than me is old enough to be my kid and the instinct is to stop the predator and not to be the predator. It was Kiddo who reentered my life so, I think as a dad to a girl. Would I think differently if the kid in my life was either Zach or Yooga. A part of me might actually feel proud of them if they got seduced by someone like a school teacher (assuming the school teacher is a lady). I mean, as someone said, “sticking it in always sounds better than having something stuck into you.” Yet, one has to ask – why would I be cool with that but not if it had been an older man with a young girl. I like to think that if it happened to the boys in my life, I’d go after the predator too. Age is a number. Experience and Virility are like two opposite poles on a magnate and if you’re talking about two consenting adults, what’s the issue. However, when you become a parent, you see things differently. Its images of your kid that make you worry that there’s power imbalance in the relationship and you worry that it could be your kid that’s getting screwed over. Age is a number is a logical thought – being a parent is inevitably instinctive.   Tang Li *Although I’ve been based mainly in Singapore for nearly two decades, I’ve had the privilege of being able to meet people who have crossed borders and cultures. I’ve befriended ministers and ambassadors and worked on projects involving a former head of state. Yet, at the same time, I’ve had the privilege of befriending migrant labourers and former convicts. All of them have a story to tell. All of them add to the fabric of life. I hope to express the stories that inspire us to create life as it should be.      Read More →

It’s the outcome we saw coming – the two ministers at the centre of the Ridout controversy have been cleared of misconduct and wrongdoing. No one put a foot wrong. Not even one small misstep. Clean as a whistle. Case closed. We are not in the least bit surprised because we did not expect any other outcome. Apart from loopholes and unanswered questions, just look at the string of coincidences. Minister K Shanmugam paid $26,500 monthly rental for the massive 26 Ridout Road property – exactly the same as the guide rent set by the Singapore Land Authority (SLA), which was unknown to the minister. How’s that for a coincidence? As for Minister Vivian Balakrishnan, his wife happened to come across a “For Lease” sign at 31 Ridout Road and contacted SLA about the rental. They paid $19,000 a month – just $200 above the guide rent. So it’s purely by coincidence that the two ministers became neighbours. If Mrs Balakrishnan did not happen by chance to venture out to 31 Ridout Road, she would not have seen the “For Lease” sign, and she and her husband would not have ended up as tenants so close to where Minister Shanmugam lived. We know now that the “senior Cabinet colleague” that Minister Shanmugam sounded out about the rental of 26 Ridout Road was in fact Senior Minister Teo Chee Hean. Coincidentally, SM Teo was appointed by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong to conduct the independent review. Someone with a conflict of interest investigating another for conflict of interest? In his report, SM Teo said the ministers “conducted themselves properly” and took appropriate steps to avoid any conflict of interest. He explained that Minister Shanmugam had removed himself from the chain of command and decision-making process, and recused himself from any discussion related to the rental of the property. Just one simple question: once the minister showed his interest in the property, wouldn’t his subordinates know what to do? So it doesn’t matter at all whether he recused himself from any discussion and decision-making. Actually, we have heard this rationale before. They reach into their playbook and dish it out to us when the need arises. Like when PM Lee took steps to avoid any conflict of interest by recusing himself from any discussion and decision-making on the fate of 38 Oxley Road – and he duly did so by appointing SM Teo (yes, the same tried, tested and trusted SM Teo) to chair the ministerial committee on 38 Oxley Road. It feels like deja vu because we have been on the same merry-go-round. The Ridout controversy came hot on the heels of the Keppel bribery scandal, preceded by the SPH Media circulation fiasco, preceded by the Parti Liyani-Liew Mun Leong scandal. Each time, there’s a foul, bitter aftertaste because we could smell what’s coming from a mile away once they are done with their investigation. Over time, we become numb to ownself check ownself and ownself investigate ownself. We will also be numb to the debate and proceedings in Parliament next week. Will it be anything other than the findings are out, nothing to see, case closed, let’s move on?   Augustine Low      Read More →

I refer to TODAY’s report, “Hundreds sign up for tuition centres mock exams costing up to S$130, after scrapping of all mid-year school exams” (June 16). Nowadays, most of the parents hope that their children will not only lose at the starting line of their life, they will also ensure that their children will not lose out at respective learning stages, such as at the exams of PSLE, “O” and “A” Level. All parents and students know that the direct, imminent and shorter path to achieve career success, or securing a good and stable job is to ploughing hard via track of academic study all the way to get an bachelor’s degree with good grading, or preferably a master degree. Let take a deeper look at the minimum academic entry requirements/criteria for an executive position in the civil service division or in the government agencies, which clearly specifies that a good university degree is required. Needless to say, most of the business enterprises in the private sector will also follow suit in due course. It will be an undeniable fact that the higher hierarchy in career path you intend to climb up, you require a much higher academic qualification which is ontop of your commendable work experience and skills. For examples, for the position of deputy, assistant commissioner or the commissioner of police, the position of one-star general and above, you need to be a top scholarship holder, preferably with a master degree and equipping with remarkable work ability and experience. Singapore has been adopting/implementing the meritocracy in its political and administrative system since its independence till now. And, almost all the political office holders are elites and equipped with a minimum university degree. In fact, other countries such as China, UK and Australia have adopted the meritocracy too. Except China has recently modified its political and administrative system to suit its political landscape. As far as no substitution or alternative to replace the traditional academic system exams, the attitude and mentality of the parents and students would remain unchanged - deadly clings that this is the only way to achieving success in life. Thus, it is not surprised to see that students emerge in large numbers to various tuition centres to sign up for mock exams even the mid-year exam is being scrapped. And, they are glad to pay for a fee of S$130 for the mock exam. In short, it boils down to the human nature - pursuing higher paper qualifications, hoping for a brighter future which means better income, a cosy materialistic life and secular fame. Anyway, I deeply believe that an individual’s success in life cannot simply be measured by an individual’s academic achievement. It should embrace a wider scope/latitude. For example, the meaningful way to lead a decent, happy and fulfilling life is of utmost important.   Teo Kueh Liang (Mr)      Read More →